The GiB
by TheJabuticaba
Summary: In which Jay's a girl, Kay's awesome as usual. Starts with the first movie, series of AU oneshots. Will borrow elements from the Animated Series. Rated T for the occasional cuss word.
1. Chapter 1 The Bug

The Bug

There were many, many things in this world that pissed off Jaime Darla Edwards III. One of them was when a perp did not know when to stop.

That being said, dropping onto a double-decker bus was not much fun either.

Jaime groaned slightly as she pushed off the ground and took a few wheezing breaths. When she caught the stares sent her way by the incredulous sightseers, she decided that a statement was needed for crowd control.

"It just be raining black people in New York!"

She was met with blank stares. _Well, that wasn't the result I wanted. Oh well._  
With a small shrug, she ran down the stairs and after the perp again.

After a rather hectic chase that involved damage to private property (a sheet of glass), she finally caught up with the gangly guy. Her gun trained on him carefully, she put up her tough façade. Until he started spouting some nonsense and edging towards the edge of the building.

"Woah," Jaime tried to placate the man, "step away from the ledge, dude."  
She nearly lost it when he blinked, his eyelids closing sideways.

Although Jaime was sure that eyelids were not worth committing suicide over, the perp thought otherwise. Ignoring her attempts to get him to step away from his doom, he stepped off the building, his arms eagle spread and-

_Splat._

Jaime closed her eyes.

#MIB#

"Jeebs, I don't think he's bluffing." Jaime looked pointedly at the gun Kay had levelled at Jack Jeebs' head. Jaime was familiar with the good-cop bad-cop routine. She'd just never thought she would be the good cop.

Jeebs refused to talk. Kay started to count down. Jaime started to panic.

"Three…"  
"Jeebs, now would be an excellent time to blab."  
"…Two…"  
"I'm serious!"  
"…One."  
Jeebs' head exploded in a splatter of green goo.

Jaime was more than ready to arrest Kay – he was definitely a loony – but her eyes nearly bugged out of her head when a reedy voice issued from Jeebs' head, or rather, the stump where his head previously existed.

If she had remembered anything of the events that night, she might have enrolled herself into the closest mental institution possible.

Fortunately for her, she didn't remember a single thing.

#MIB#

High heels were impractical. There was no doubt about it. Those pesky little things at the end of those skinny shoes made balance impossible, and it _squeaked_ with every step she took. That completely defeated the reason why Jaime was part of the NYPD in the first place – she had only gotten in because of her quickness on her feet.

Then there was the skirt-and-stockings combo. The stockings restricted her every step, and if she did decided to go without, some pervert would probably look up the skirt. It was a lose-lose situation both ways.

Jaime scowled at MiB's standard women's uniform. When she had complained about the suit, Zed had handed over the MiB handbook wordlessly and directed her to the uniform section, and to a whole bunch of rules about how cross dressing was strictly prohibited.  
_Well, stuff the rules. And stuff you too, Zed._

Jaime helped herself to the men's section.  
When she finally re-emerged later, outfitted with a jacket, a shirt, a standard MiB watch, _pants_ and leather shoes with no heels, Zed nearly had a conniption. It wasn't hard to miss, the way his face was turning an alarming shade of red in within ten seconds of her emergence.

Jaime – now known as Jay – completely missed Kay's amused smirk, though.

#MIB#

Jay's day had gone relatively well. She had chased down a space critter, given the finger to her grumpy partner at least once, got a peashooter of a gun that had the horsepower of a bazooka (and possibly more), stamped on at least two bugs (of the earth variety) and got splattered with bug goo (of the alien variety).

Maybe not exactly in that order.

As Jay looked at her drenched jacket disdainfully, a small voice (her conscience) told her to be thankful that Edgar the Bug's juices had not soaked through her hair.

Her hair was curly. Not the usual curly. It was the bird's-nest-out-of-control-curly sort of hair. If there had been any goo in her hair, it would have been impossible to get out. She couldn't fathom why on earth Kay had jumped at the chance to get swallowed by Edgar. So she decided to ask him.

"Why the heck, Kay, did you go in _there_ for?"  
"I wanted my gun back."

_Right. Poor guy missed his gun._

Before Jay could say anything else, they both stiffened upon hearing a snarling. Namely, one that came from angry space bugs that had been blown in half by a certain crazy agent.

As Kay and Jay turned, both wearing identical expressions of '_Oh Crap_', the upper half of Edgar exploded, this time covering Jay from head to toe with goo.

Dr Laurel Weaver was wielding one of the guns. "Interesting job you two have."

Jay was dismayed. She hoped that she could achieve the impossible – get the goo out of her hair.

#MIB#

"So I'm not your replacement?"  
"Nope."  
"I thought you were preparing me for replacing you!"  
"At a ripe age of twenty years less than fifty? Keep dreaming, Slick."


	2. Chapter 2 The Big Little Man Syndrome

**_Author's Notes: For those of you who haven't watched MIB: The Animated Series, this probably wouldn't make too much sense. It takes place after the crisis of 'The Big Little Man Syndrome', but before J is returned to his (or in this case, her) regular size._**

**The Big Little Man Syndrome: The Aftermath, or How Jay Found Out That Kay Was Ticklish**

The banana had exploded.

It had freakin' _exploded_.

There was no way Jay was going to step inside that creepy chamber until the twins (Bob and Whats-his-name) had managed to figure out a way to de-shrink something without sending it the way of the dodo.

And that was how Jay found herself perched on Kay's shoulder again, like some sort of shoulder angel (or devil, as Elle had put smarmily) while the twins continued to experiment on an seemingly endless supply of yellow fruits.

As Kay took another step, Jay scrambled to get a hand hold on his shoulder. It was surprisingly difficult – there was nothing there for her to grip, at least, nothing short of grabbing his hair, which Jay was sure would be painful. Deciding to not grab a handful of Kay's short brown hair, Jay instead dug her heels in, and pressed her back against Kay's neck. It almost worked. Almost.

Most people expected Kay to be perfect – no flaws, no weaknesses.  
Unfortunately, most people were wrong - Kay was ticklish, very, very ticklish. Especially at his neck.

Letting out a rather unmanly yip, Kay instinctively swatted lightly at his neck. Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem, but Jay had taken up residence on his shoulder, and was smacked off his shoulder.

As Jay made her speedy descent towards the floor, she was struck by one thought – _Here lies J.D. Edwards. Died 'cause her partner was ticklish._

"KAAAYYY-oof!" Jay's screech stopped mid-breath. When Kay had realised that Jay had become a former resident of his shoulder and was about to become a permanent resident of the floor, or at least six feet under the floor, he spun around and caught her.

Jay landed on Kay's palm, flat on her back. By the time she sat up shakily, and blinked to get images of her life flashing before her eyes out of her head, she found Kay's brilliant blue eyes – _Had they always been that blue?_ – watching her in…was it concern?

"Never knew you were ticklish." Jay muttered darkly as she tried to stand up on Kay's palm. She was surprised when his fingers curled gently around her and she was cocooned in warmth. She resisted the urge to snuggle into them. It was quite soothing on her sore back from her tussle with the let's-use-a-brassiere-as-a-parachute Fmeck.  
_Crazy extraterrestrials._

"Never intended for you to find out, Slick." Kay answered, the concern disappearing as quickly as it had appeared.

Jay snorted derisively. _Of course not._

Kay continued on his original route – to Zed for their debriefing. Kay and Jay had, after all, blown up a planet with the help of a satellite and a mini death ray.

"Are you going to put me back onto your shoulder?" Jay asked finally, when Kay showed no signs of letting her go.  
"And have you do another swan dive? I don't think so." Kay replied lightly in his _I'm-teasing-you_ monotone.  
"You're the one that swatted me off!"  
"Indeed. Wouldn't want a repeat now, would we, Ace?"

Jay crossed her arms and scowled sullenly, at least, as sullen as one could possibly look while _manhandled_. But it was comfortable, and she _was_ tired from beating the stuffing out of the Fmecks and their human shaped vehicles, and Jay found herself nodding off when they finally reached Zed.

Five minutes into the debriefing, Kay realised she was asleep.

#MIB#

"Jay." A baritone voice broke through the cloud of sleep.  
"Mmph." Jay grunted, burrowing deeper into the soft material that she was sleeping in.  
"Jay." The voice repeated. Dimly, Jay matched the voice with a name. _Kay_.  
"Five more minutes." Jay muttered, but sat up anyway, rubbing at her eyes. "What happened?"  
"You fell asleep." Kay answered simply.

It was then that Jay realised that she was still pint sized, and was wrapped in the same blanket the Arquillian had been in earlier. "Why did you wake me up?" she asked, muffling a yawn with one hand when she noted that there wasn't really a situation going on. And by situation, she meant throngs of screaming people.

"Do you want to get back to your regular size or not?" Kay asked rather impatiently, holding out a hand for Jay to climb on.

Slowly, Jay disentangled herself from the blanket and walked onto Kay's palm. "Only if it doesn't involve exploding fruit."

Thankfully, Elle had the foresight to drape a bathrobe over the tiny form of Jay before she was 'de-shrinked'.

At least Kay and Zed had the courtesy to avert their eyes.


	3. Chapter 3 K The Cat

**_Author's Notes: This story is not supposed to be taken seriously. Just so you know.  
Also, I added a little bit more onto the end of chapter one. _**

K The Cat

If anyone ever asked Jay what animal she thought Kay would be, Jay would have pegged him for an eagle. Stern, majestic and powerful.

She'd never thought that he'd suit being a cat.

The mission had started simply enough. The four of them, Jay, Kay, Elle and X, were supposed to oversee the signing of a peace treaty between two warring planets. The signing would have gone well, if it weren't for the fact that Kay disappeared an hour before the actual signing.

Jay, ever worried for her partner that had a knack for getting in (and out) of death defying situations, searched the Intergalactic Consulate while Elle and X tried to delay the signing. Chances were, either one, or both of the parties were playing dirty.

Jay found Kay in one of the storerooms of the Intergalactic Consulate, with an unconscious Felinian, and a claw protruding out of his shoulder. At least he put up a fight, by the condition of the battered Felinian.

Oh, he was fine, by the way. Kay woke up soon after Jay found him. But Jay had taken one look at the claw and screamed at Kay to "Stay away from the light!"

Kay had rolled his eyes. "Stop worrying, Slick. The venom will start to affect me in…" he paused and glanced down at his watch, "…about two minutes."  
Jay was nearly in hysterics.  
"Listen to me, Jay," Kay began more urgently, "we don't have much time."

Luckily, Jay calmed down enough to listen.

#MIB#

The upside was that Jay finally got to say "I object!" at the top of her lungs, wedding style, to stop the signing of the treaty. (The looks on everyone's faces were priceless.)

The downside was that a certain group of the Felinians actually enjoyed the war, and did not wish for it to stop. They weren't part of the government, though, and so that was why then sent an assassin after the four MIB agents, to make their own government look bad. Fortunately, Felinian venom did not affect humans in the same way it affected aliens, and only Kay had been infected. Kay had been investigating behind-the-scenes the whole time – Zed already had his suspicions.

Unfortunately, after two minutes, just as Kay had predicted, the venom started to work.

He had doubled over in pain, clutching at his shoulder before collapsing to the ground. And then he began to shrink, while a fine ginger fuzz (that Jay later identified as fur) grew over his body.

Half a minute later, a brown tabby with blue eyes blinked owlishly up at the three other agents.

"Meow."  
"Kay?!"

The feline side (and unfortunately the dominant side) of Kay, was terrified. It did not recognise anyone in the room, and the loud noises coming from the strange looking people was scaring him.  
The human side was mildly annoyed at the fact that he was stuck with a cat's mind for at least a week.

Cautiously, Jay knelt down towards the cat. "Kay?" she asked again stretching out her hand towards the ginger cat. The feline took a sniff. _I know you,_ it thought, _you smell safe._  
_Yes,_ Kay silently agreed with the cat side, _she is safe._

#MIB#

"A week?!" Jay exclaimed. "He's going to be a cat for a week?"

Zeeltor bobbed his head, his long neck moving in ripples. "Yes, Agent J, I'm afraid it will be at least a week before the venom works its way out of his system."

"At least a week?" Jay asked curiously. "Are you saying that he could be puking up hairballs for weeks after, even when he looks human?"

Kay-the-Kitty swatted at a string of yarn dangling in front of his face, but gave up when the string was jerked out of reach. Kay-Kitty let out a soft hiss at X, who was holding the yarn, before slinking back to Jay.

Jay looked down when she felt the tabby rubbing against her ankles. "Hello, K-Kitty." She greeted as she reached down and scratched his ears.

The human part of K-Kitty wanted to claw Jay for continually calling him that name. The cat part purred in content as it basked in Jay's attention. Kay idly noted that he wasn't ticklish anymore, at least, not when he was a cat.

"Well, I'd better take you to Zed and try to explain why his best agent is a cat." Jay muttered, holding out her arms for the cat to jump into. K-Kitty leapt into her arms eagerly, but proceeded to scramble up her arm after Kay nagged the cat into climbing onto her shoulder – there was no way he would suffer the indignity of being carried.

"You look like a demented parrot, Kay." Elle noted lightly. Kay's claw tips dug into Jay's shoulder slightly and his back arched, fur bristling.

#MIB#

"Hey, Jay!" U called across from the main room.

Jay stopped halfway to Zed's office, wincing.  
U was so annoying. She could feel K-Kitty stiffening on her shoulder.

"You trying to grow a fur coat from that overweight parrot?" U smirked nastily as he came closer.

"He's not a-" Jay started scathingly, but was interrupted by a maelstrom of ginger fur, claws and hissing that launched itself off her shoulder and right onto U's face.

In the end, Jay did not need to see Zed. He came out himself upon hearing U's screams.

Jay ended up being charged with taking care of K-Kitty until he turned back to his old human self.


	4. Chapter 4 Cat Days

**_Author's Notes: Part two to 'K the Cat', and references to MIB 2_**

Cat Days

Kay was just like a cat – disapproving, indifferent, yet very protective, as Jay found out over the course of the week.

It started on Monday afternoon, when Jay, K-turned-cat, Elle and X returned from the Intergalactic Consulate and were ready to go back to the living quarters that MIB provided for a good night's sleep.

By five o'clock, almost all of the field agents had gone home, except for a certain fuzzy tabby and his human partner. They were arguing over the mode of transport. Or rather, Jay was arguing with a cat that did not even answer back.

"Kay, you can't possibly drive!"  
K-Kitty was sitting in the driver's seat of the LTD, giving Jay a look that said _Yes, I can._  
"No, you can't. Remember the last time we had this argument?" Jay demanded, somehow understanding what K-Kitty was saying. _It's got to be the eyebrows._ Jay decided.  
_Oh, yes. I remember it well._ Kay remembered that time well – the time where he de-aged.  
"That's right, you were a toddler. A _toddler_. We nearly crashed because you were being so damn stubborn, and refused to let me drive."  
K-Kitty yawned. _Are you quite finished?_

"You're impossible." Jay sighed. "And very disapproving." She added when the cat shot her a death stare.

Jay and Kay ended up riding the subway, crammed next to several other home-goers.

#MIB#

When Jay and Kay did finally arrive at the block, Jay made the mistake of opening up her apartment door first. Before she could blink, a streak of ginger had rushed between her legs and into the living room of her apartment. It took her two minutes to find where the wayward feline had gone.

K-Kitty was happy where he was. He ignored Jay trying to coax him to come down.  
"Oy, Kay! Get down from my wardrobe!" Jay called up. "I need to let you into your apartment."

K-Kitty had taken up residence at the top of Jay's uniform wardrobe. K-Kitty merely refused to look at her and curled up at the top of the wardrobe.

After five minutes, Jay gave up.

#MIB#

When K-Kitty woke up again, the apartment was cold. His thick fur did nothing to protect him from winter's chill. The kitty part wanted to look for another living thing to keep it warm. The K part wanted to turn on the heater.

Eventually, K-Kitty dropped nimbly down from the wardrobe, and the cat made its way across the cluttered living room, and to the kitchen.

Kay vaguely remembered that in his apartment, the heater was in the kitchen, and looked around for it. Although K-Kitty did not find the heater, he did find something else – a dish of chicken sitting on the bench.

K-Kitty leapt onto the benched and sniffed it, before finding a folded note next to the plate.

Kay persuaded the cat part to take a look at the note before doing anything to the chicken.

_"K, you stubborn cat,  
I thought, no, knew, that you'd get hungry and come down eventually, so here's some food.  
P.S. I left a blanket for you on the sofa.  
J"_

Satisfied, Kay allowed the Kitty to wolf down the chicken.

K-Kitty spent the night on the sofa.

#MIB#

"I don't care what you think, K-Kitty, but I'm not riding on that subway again." Jay declared, with K-Kitty perched on her shoulder again.

Tuesday morning found the two of them riding on the subway, on the way to MIB Headquarters. They had unwittingly become part of a "more energy efficient" subway car test, courtesy of Jeff-the-gigantically-annoying-and-vaguely-terrifying-space-worm.

This time, the sedative worked, although not before Jeff was able to eat half of the car for breakfast. Jay found herself working double-time when Jeff took the sleeve off her jacket.

Oh, no, it wasn't the jacket that forced her to work double-time. It was trying to stop K-Kitty from attacking Jeff in a storm of protective fury (and getting eaten before he could do any damage) and trying to shoot tranquilizers with one hand while scruffing K-Kitty with the other.

That had earned her several scratches.

By the time Jay and K-Kitty finally arrived at Headquarters, it was past 10 o'clock. Zed had taken one look at Jay and suggested that she took the week off, or until K-Kitty was more Kay than Kitty. Jay had been about to protest when she caught sight of herself in a mirror – she had to admit that she didn't exactly look like the very picture of good health.

#MIB#

When Thursday finally rolled around for Jay, K-Kitty was more Kay than Kitty, which meant that she could return to work. This time, K-Kitty still stubbornly refused to let Jay drive.

Jay had merely rolled her eyes before putting on a pair of gloves and carrying K-Kitty, who was hissing and spitting the whole time, to a pet carrier.

Kay urged the cat to be quiet, and to his surprise, it worked.

However, he did not stop the cat from yowling in terror as Jay tore down the streets of New York on a motorbike, with the pet carrier strapped to the back seat.

#MIB#

"Zeeltor?"  
"Yes, Agent Jay?"  
"Do you think Kay's aware of what he's doing?"  
"…Probably not."

Jay had to agree – K-Kitty had been sitting calmly on her shoulder when Frank the Pug had scuttled into MIB headquarters, blabbing about some bug in a panic.

K-Kitty had immediately stiffened, although Jay had payed it no heed at the time – human Kay was never that fond of Frank.

Jay only realised something was wrong when K-Kitty had scratched Frank-the-furious-Pug across the nose, and darted under a shelf in the lab, where Frank could not follow.

Right now, Frank was barking at the bottom shelf, interrupted with frequent yips of pain when a ginger furred claw swiped at him from underneath the shelf.

"I shall never understand earth animals." Zeeltor declared with a sigh.

#MIB#

On Friday, Kay turned back into his human self. It had come as quite a shock. One minute the ginger cat was staring at Zed's office's goldfish, and the next, a very confused Kay found himself eye to eye with a particularly surprised purple fish.

When Jay tried to tease him about enraging Frank, Kay insisted that the past week was blurry to him, and Jay gave up trying to jog his memory.

Kay was a good liar.


	5. Chapter 5 Girl Talk

**_Author's Notes: Quote from The Lost Continent Syndrome. Plus, I'm ignoring the chronological order of the TV series. I noticed that J and K rarely have a man-to-man talk, and since J is a girl in this fanfiction, I doubt that she would ever have anything in common to talk to with K. So, the next logical person for J to talk to is probably L (considering that they are both women in an organisation that consists mostly of men)._**

**_And thank you for those who favourited and followed _**J

**Girl Talk**

_Agent C: "You have no idea how lonely it gets down here, with nobody human to talk to."  
Agent J: (glances at Kay) "Wanna bet?"_

#MIB#

It was a rare occasion that the MIB cafeteria was almost empty. Daily, there would be an endless stream of sleepy, exhausted, or sleepy _and_ exhausted, agents shuffling through for a cup of coffee. If there weren't any agents, then the four worms would be there, talking to each other, about life in general, coffee, Zed's new restrictions on the cups of coffee per worm, and coffee again.

It was on this rare occasion that Jay found herself nursing a cup of coffee, and with only one other occupant in the cafeteria; Elle.

"Sup, Elle." Jay greeted wearily.  
"Hello, Jay." Elle helped herself to the coffee machine.  
"Any idea where our four night crawlers went?" Jay glanced around as she said this, as if she was almost afraid of the worms popping out and spiriting away her coffee.  
"Zed has them on reactor night duty." Elle pulled up a chair next to Jay, and subconsciously imitated Jay's position – hunched over, hands firmly around the mug and slumped forwards in her chair.

"Tough day?" Jay asked, at Elle's sigh.  
"You could say that." Elle answered wryly, as she thought back to the day's events.  
"X acting up again?"  
"You could say that too." Elle sighed into her cup. "He nearly got us killed. Again."  
Jay winced. "What was it this time?"  
"Insults. Spiky Bulba. Agression. Need I say more?" Elle smirked at the face Jay pulled.  
"That bad, huh?"  
"Yep." Elle sipped at her drink. "How about you? You look like you've been placed in solitary confinement for two days. With Frank the Pug."

"Something like that." Jay muttered darkly. Then she blinked. "How's that solitary confinement if Frank's with me?"  
Elle groaned into her hands. "Never mind. It's been a long day. Ignore what I'm rambling on about." Elle sat up again, and clasped her hands together. "Do go on."  
"Oh." Jay could only say, before continuing. "Kay's just such a… a…"  
"Silent and cold person?" Elle offered.  
"I was going to say an idiot, and a cruel son of a Sasquatch, but that works too." Jay swirled the contents of her coffee cup.  
"What did he do?" Elle asked, genuinely curious. Although Kay sometimes (or usually) frustrated Jay to no end, she had never called him anything insulting, at least not to Elle's face.  
"He left me in the LTD alone, with Frank."  
"You can't be alone if you're with Frank." Elle paraphrased what Jay had said to her earlier.  
"You know what I mean!" Jay grumbled.  
"Sorry."

Both were silent, staring into their respective drinks, until Elle prompted Jay again. "And?"

"And what?" Jay asked, as if she had forgotten the past two minutes.  
"What happened? So far, you've just told me that you had to bear our dear extra-terrestrial canine's company, which, I must admit, is quite painful, but it should not be enough to call Kay a cruel son of a Sasquatch. What did he do to deserve your wrath?"  
Jay sighed. "It was one of the aliens we were supposed to arrest."

Elle knew that look, and it meant nothing good was about to come out of Jay's mouth. The older woman decided to not comment. Sometimes, it was better to let Jay talk at her own pace.

"We had cornered him. It. Whatever." Jay wasn't sure what gender it was. "And then _it_ shot a bunch of spikes at me. I don't think it really understood English."  
"What alien species was it?" Elle frowned at the description.  
"I'm not sure," Jay shrugged, "but it was enough to send Frank and Kay into a panic."  
Elle raised an eyebrow. "Kay panicked? As in _panic_? And _Kay_?"  
"Well, he did keep looking over his shoulder every two seconds, and he did practically yell at me to keep my eyes peeled."  
Elle snorted. "Yeah, for Kay, that's panicking."  
"My thought exactly." Jay muttered. "Where was I? Oh, yes, that's right. Anyway, some of those spikes grazed my arm-" Jay held up a bandaged arm "-and Kay nearly had a fit."  
"Nearly?" Elle inquired.  
"Uh huh." Jay nodded. "He grabbed me with one hand, and Frank with the other, and then he shoved us both into the LTD."  
"That doesn't sound so bad." Elle commented.

"He locked the LTD. From the _outside_." Jay growled. "He locked us in, like we were toddlers, or something. And then, he went after the alien on foot, all by himself, that _bloody idiot_, and without back up!" Jay's voice had escalated during the last sentence, and nearly became a shout.  
"What happened next?" Elle hoped that Jay was calm enough to continue.  
A small grin appeared on Jay's face. Elle relaxed – this was a familiar sight, as long as Jay looked happy, it meant that she was going to be alright.

"I followed him, by driving the LTD." Jay dropped the bombshell.  
"You. Did. What?!" Elle couldn't believe her ears.  
"I don't think Frank enjoyed it." Jay continued matter-of-factly.  
"Jay! That's crazy! Kay's going to kill you!"  
"He was screaming in my ear the whole time." Jay was still reminiscing about Frank. "Serves him right for annoying me, the basta-"

"Jay!" Elle snapped in exasperation.  
Jay stepped out of her memories. "What?"  
"I'm surprised Kay didn't neuralyse you."  
Jay grinned again. "Oh, I think he would have, if he wasn't busy rushing me to the MIB med bay."  
Elle suppressed an eye roll. "What happened to you?"  
"Oh," Jay replied casually, "I got shot with another spike, but that did give Kay the opportunity to shoot the alien."  
"So, how is Kay a, and I quote, 'cruel son of a Sasquatch'?"  
Jay's face darkened. "The alien was scared. I could feel it."  
Elle frowned. "That's never bothered you before."  
"True, but Kay's never killed an unintelligent species without a warning shot before." Jay shuddered. "He looked so cold. Colder than I have ever seen him. Like he didn't care that the alien was going to die scared, and alone."

"It sounds like he was worried for you." Elle finally noted.  
"I- What?" Jay hadn't been expecting that.  
"Don't sound so surprised, Jay. You're his partner, therefore, his responsibility." Elle explained. _Honestly, Jay's so blind sometimes._

"Think." Elle prompted Jay. "Would he have acted in such a way if the alien wasn't dangerous?" Elle eyed the bandage wrapped around Jay's arm. "And what if the spikes were poisonous?"

"I think they were. Zeeltor wanted to collect the venom." Jay admitted ruefully, eyeing the bandage. "Do you think Kay really cares?" she asked Elle hopefully.  
"Definitely. He may not show it, but I'm sure he does care." Elle was glad to reassure Jay. The younger girl could be so unsure and insecure, and yet so stron-

"And if anything threatened X, would you do the same?" Jay smiled cheekily.

Elle swatted half-heartedly at Jay's arm (the uninjured one). "Idiot." Then she looked down into her coffee cup. "Yes, I would." She admitted quietly. "No matter how much of an ass he is."

Jay looked at Elle. Elle looked at Jay.  
"We're in deep, aren't we?" Elle commented finally.  
"I-"

A blaring siren cut across Jay's answer. "What's that?" Jay yelled over the siren.  
"I think that the warning for our nuclear reactor!" Elle shouted back.  
"As in it's going to blow?"  
"Yes! But why?"

Both ladies looked at their coffee cups, and truly thought about why the cafeteria had seemed so quiet. "The worms!" they chorused each other, eyes wide.

"Move it, ladies!" X appeared in the cafeteria. "We have a crisis on our appendages!" Then he ran off, presumably to the reactor.

"Jay!" Kay called, running past the cafeteria and carrying a large icer. "I need you to be at the reactor! And bring a large icer!"

"Duty calls." Jay muttered, sharing a look with Elle. Jay ran off in the direction of the armoury.

"One day," Elle looked at the retreating figure of her closest friend, "you'll see how much Kay cares. And how much you care for him."


	6. Chapter 6 Ornaments

**_Author's Notes: Takes place during and after The Bye Bye Worm Syndrome._**

**_Also, updating *might* slow during the Christmas Mania/Pandemonium/Visiting Family period, but I think I'll be fine._**

**Ornaments**

_"Yo, Golbi! I need to pick your brains!"_

#MIB#

There was nothing worse than an impromptu bath, and being unofficially fired right after finding out that your misdeed had been discovered. Unofficial in the sense of going AWOL.

Right now, Jay was soaked to the bone, and was sitting in quite a shabby apartment, even for an alien canine. As she sat shivering, she held back a sneeze. There probably weren't any tissues in this place, anyway.

"Ooh, coffee's here!" the worms declared cheerfully as Jay let out a hacking cough.  
"You guys ordered _coffee_?" Jay rasped incredulously. _Man, these guys can be so stupid._ Jay rolled her eyes. Unfortunately for Jay, the worms, and Frank's apartment, it was not the coffee boy.

_Frank's going to be __**so**__ pissed off._

Only one good thing came out of the attack – Jay now knew who the culprit was.

#MIB#

"And you, Agent K." The alien janitor rounded on Jay's partner. "You vetoed my proposition of utilising aromatherapy in the men's bathrooms."

Jay, who had been balancing quietly on the rafters with the worms and was waiting for the right moment to act, let out a slightly hysterical giggle at the janitor's final remark, as the thought of Zed smelling like he had been dipped in perfume popped into her mind.

Normally, this wouldn't have been a problem, if the janitor had continued ranting. Unfortunately, he was waiting for a reply from Kay, and in the ensuing silence, Jay's giggle was the equivalent of a trumpet blast.

"Jay!" the four worms scolded her loudly. The Janitor looked up, his eyes narrowing into slits.  
"Sorry!" Jay apologised, wiping away tears of laughter. "It's been a very long day."

"Jay! Move!" Kay roared from below as the Janitor fired a gun. _Probably one of his own designs._ Jay mused before grabbing the worms and diving off the rafter, and towards the ladder.

"Ow!" Jay's arm was not used to taking her weight and the weight of four worms. Apparently, the rung wasn't used the weight either. It snapped, and the five-some hurtled towards the floor.

"Thanks for the cushioning, guys." Jay said as she picked herself off the worms.  
"Anytime, Jay." One of them (_maybe it was Neeble?_) said to her, disgruntled.

The Janitor had ignored the falling group, and had turned on his mini black hole maker, as Jay had dubbed it mentally.

"Go and help the others!"Jay shot over her shoulder as she launched herself at the janitor, and kicked the gun out of his large hands. Her victory was short lived when she discovered that she had lost the Noisy Cricket in the fall.

"Looks like this will be a fair fight after all." The Janitor grinned nastily.  
Jay was feeling particularly adventurous. After all, Zed may or may not have already planned out her neuralysation and future job as a tax collector. "Bring it on, tubby!" _Might as well make it fun._

Unfortunately for Jay, she had underestimated the Janitor. While he was unhinged, he was still strong, and a lot more durable than Jay had expected. Her first two punches landed harmlessly against his thick rubbery skin, and the third was caught.

A feral snarl twisted his features as he snapped Jay's hand backwards sharply. Jay felt it snap, and held back the scream that threatened to escape her lips. A blow to her stomach had her bent double, and another one sent her flying into the control panel.

Jay sat up, dazed, and cradled her hand to her chest, ignoring the unnatural way it was bent. _Zeeltor will fix it. He fixes everything._ She tried to reassure herself.

"You're so helpless, Jay." The Janitor taunted as he came closer. "You can't accomplish anything on your own, can you?"  
Jay struggled to get up, with only one hand.  
"When was the last time you didn't need someone to save you? You're just a burden, Jay. You're just a sidekick. An ornament."  
Jay stiffened at the last words. _Ornament._

Jay would have been completely helpless, if one of the worms didn't have the sense to throw the icer at her. "Jay, catch!" he shrilled.

Returning to her senses, Jay propelled herself forward, caught the icer, and shot the janitor in one fluid motion. As the adrenaline wore off, the fact that her wrist was broken finally registered in her brain, at the same time the pain did.

"Ow. Ow. Ow." Jay was huddled over her hand, completely oblivious to the chaos which still reigned in the room – the black hole had started to pick up the small objects in the room, such as bits of paper, a few chairs, and the worms.

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

Jay looked up at the bloodcurdling screams of the night crawlers, and for the second time that night, did something incredibly foolish. She jumped forward and gripped the beginning of the worm chain with one hand, and using her injured hand, anchored the five of them to the ladder.

This time, Jay didn't bother hiding the scream when her wrist was straightened, and the worms, along with Jay, were lifted off the ground from the suction of the black hole.

#MIB#

"There_ were_ a lot of stars." Jay muttered, dazed from her trip into (and out of) the black hole. She was unaware of the near-heart attack she had given Kay, until she felt a pair of hands grip her shoulders and jerk her towards the owner of the hands.

"Don't. Ever. Do. That. Again." Kay growled.

Jay's mind screamed at her to shut up (_Your brain to mouth filter is off! Don't do it!_), and she ignored the sage advice. "Do you mean giggling or imagining Zed undergoing aromatherapy?"  
To her surprise, Kay was less tense, and released her abruptly. "Both."

Within minutes, MIB agents swarmed the underground bunker. The worms received a thermos of coffee from Zed as an apology, and Jay received a stern talking to, before being carted off to Zeeltor, back at headquarters.

"Twice in one day, Agent Jay." Zeeltor grinned. "This really must be your unlucky day."  
Jay rolled her eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, a heavily anesthetized Jay dozed on a med-bay bed, with her wrist healed to the best of Zeeltor's ability (Troy was off planet). Zeeltor had only just helped himself to a cup of tea when Kay entered.

"Hello Agent Kay." Zeeltor paused before he downed the cup.

Kay nodded in greeting. He frowned when he caught sight of Jay's wrist wrapped in bandages.

"Oh, don't worry; she'll be ready for tomorrow night." Zeeltor followed Kay's gaze to the bandages. "And about that. Tell Jay, when she wakes up, to not do anything vigorous until Troy comes back, alright?"

Without another word, Zeeltor picked up his mug and left Kay alone with Jay. Kay pulled up a plastic chair and sat down at the bed. "You can be a reckless idiot, Jay. You know that, don't you?"

Jay shifted in her sleep.

The corners of Kay's lips twitched upwards. "I'll admit it, though. Zed undergoing aromatherapy is an amusing thought."

Kay stopped his one sided conversation when Jay started to wake up. "Slick?"  
"Mph…" Jay grunted, eyelids flickering. "Wha… how long was I out, Zeeltor?"  
"Fifteen minutes." Kay answered. "And I'd hate to disappoint, Slick. But I'm not Zeeltor."  
Jay blinked blearily. "Kay?"  
"The one and only. And Zeeltor said that you shouldn't do anything vigorous before Troy can fully heal your wrist."

Jay looked down at the wad of bandages. "Aw man." She whined. "Knowing Zeeltor, that probably means that I can't even hold a pen with my hand!"

Kay snorted. Jay shot him a glare.

"So I take it that our-" Jay paused, and yawned, "-resident janitor didn't do any lasting damage to you?"  
"Nope." Kay leaned backwards in his chair. "I don't suppose you want to know that Zed has…" Kay searched for the right words.  
"Decided my fate?" Jay supplied wryly.  
Kay bit back a smirk. "Yes. That."  
"Well? Don't keep me hanging." Jay crossed her arms, and tried to stern rather unsuccessfully.

"No field work for two weeks." Kay stated bluntly, ignoring Jay's groan. "Desk job only."

"Desk job?"Jay grimaced. Then her expression brightened. "Wait a sec- does that mean that I don't have to attend the Christmas party tomorrow night?"  
"No." Kay now crossed his arms. "Just because you are off field work, it does not mean that you are no longer my partner."

"Damn it." Jay muttered. "I was hoping I'd be able to get out of that." She frowned. "What if I called in sick?"  
Kay was tempted to say "Then you'd leave me without a date." but stopped himself at the last second. "Then Zed might threaten you with neuralysation." He deadpanned instead.

"Oh, fine." Jay conceded with a huff. "I'll go to the Christmas party. I'll probably end up humiliating myself in front of the VIPs."

"Just try not to kill anybody this time, alright?" Kay said as he got up from the chair, and left the med bay.

Jay rolled her eyes. _Why can't you just say "Get well soon." in the way everyone else says it?_


	7. Chapter 7 Ornaments, Pt 2

**_Author's notes: Merry Christmas, everyone! Here's an early chapter._**

**_I just realised that I haven't put any sort of disclaimers in. So here's one:  
I don't own anything.  
Also, I'm thinking of doing a story arc. But then that would defeat the purpose of oneshots._**

**_Aaaand, Eidi is a male in this version. He's called Eddy._**

**Ornaments, Part 2**

Dresses, like skirts, were very impractical. Jay hated the damn things – always flapping around too much, and attracting way too much attention.

"I don't see how you can wear them day after day, Elle." Jay remarked as she looked at the dress Elle held up against her.  
"Standard MiB uniform, remember?" Elle compared the dress to another one. "Hm."

"What?" Jay asked.  
"I'm not sure which one suits you better." Elle replied.

Jay glared at the strapless monstrosity Elle was currently holding. "Definitely not that one."  
"How about this one, then?" Elle held up another dress.  
"Do I have to wear a dress?" Jay grumbled.  
"Yes. Yes, you do." Elle held up a black dress against Jay. "This one looks good."

Jay looked at her reflection. _Well, it _does_ have sleeves._ "Oh, alright."

Elle raised an eyebrow. "Okay, that's it." Elle hung the dress up in Jay's wardrobe. "What's wrong with you? Spill."

"N-nothing!" Jay protested. "Other than my wrist, and maybe a slight cold, I'm fine!"

"Jay." Elle admonished warningly, and fixed Jay with an intense stare. "Spill. The beans. Now."

Jay lasted two seconds under Elle's gaze, which was a quite a personal record (she lasted half a second last time). "Alright! Alright!" Jay took a step back. "Just quit looking at me like that!"  
Elle rolled her eyes, and stopped The Stare. "Now tell me. You're not usually this antsy."

"Ugh." Jay ran her uninjured hand over her face. "It was just that janitor. He said- He said something to me, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it."

Elle's eyes flashed. Jay wasn't sure what emotion it was. "What did he say?" Elle demanded.  
Jay looked at her shoes and mumbled something unintelligible.  
"Louder." Elle tapped her foot impatiently.

"Heprettymuchjustcalledmeauselessburden." The words came out in a rush.  
Elle winced internally. "He's a lunatic. Why would you believe him?"  
"I-" Jay swallowed, and started again. "I don't believe him. I'm just worried-" Jay sighed. "Okay, let me start again."

Elle waited patiently.

"What if he's right?" Jay said finally.  
This time, the anger in Elle's eyes were unmistakable. "Don't you dare believe a single word he says, Jay."

"But what if it's true?" Jay continued babbling. "I mean, I needed to worms to back me up in that fight. The _worms_. The four _coffee loving night crawlers_. What kind of agent am I if I can't even apprehend a perp without almost getting killed?"

"Jaime Darla Edwards!" Elle snapped.(Jay jumped in surprise) "Pull yourself together!"  
"Elle!" Jay whined. "My name's classified! You're not supposed to be using it."  
Elle raised an eyebrow. "It got your attention, didn't it?"

Jay blushed. "Was I trash talking again?"  
"Do you really need to ask?" Elle let a small smile appear on her face. "Now, tell me, why are you bothered by this?"  
"What? Are you my psychiatrist or something?" Jay demanded scathingly.  
"No." Elle admitted. "But I'm your friend."

Jay sighed. "I'm sorry for being an ass, Elle."  
"It's all right." Elle smirked. "You can't help it."  
Jay pulled a face at Elle. "You're mean."

"And you still haven't told me what's wrong yet." Elle retorted. "So, why are you upset?"  
Jay dropped onto her bed with a sigh. "I just seem to be messing everything up."  
"Not really." Elle argued. "You saved the worms, didn't you?"  
"Well, yes, but-"  
"And you managed to prevent anyone else from getting hurt, right?" Elle ignored Jay's protests.  
"Other than the janitor, maybe-"

"As far as I see it," Elle concluded triumphantly, "you did quite well."  
"I-what? Really?" Jay's face lit up. "You really think so?"

"Jay," Elle reassured her friend, "you're a good agent, and don't ever let anyone else tell you otherwise. Capisce?"

"Capisco." Jay answered, grinning.

"Good," Elle pulled Jay to her feet, before setting her down on a chair at the dressing table, "now, let's make you look perfect."

Jay stared at her own reflection in confusion as Elle started to pull her hair up, probably to put in some fancy hairstyle. "And I need to be perfect because…?"  
"I imagine you'd have some competition from Aileen." Elle answered casually.

"_WHAT?!_"

Nobody had bothered to inform Jay that the VIPs included the best of the best ("with honours! Sir!") of intergalactic police from the nearby galaxies. Naturally, Aileen was one of the guests. And also, naturally, nobody, especially not Kay, had told her about that particular fact.

Elle barely managed to persuade Jay to leave her room, and make it downstairs where X was waiting to pick them up. Even then, Jay's attitude was prickly and grumpy.  
("Elle, I can't believe that you're actually wearing that boob tube."  
"You know, Jay, if it weren't for the fact that I don't want to mess up your oh-so-perfect hair, I would punch you for that remark.")  
As soon as the trio arrived, Jay dived into the crowds and disappeared, with Elle on her heels. For once, Jay was thankful for her small size. As she weaved and ducked around throngs of people, her small form allowed her to slip between the people, and soon enough, Elle had lost sight of her.  
And that was how Kay found Elle two minutes later, wandering the crowds looking for Jay.

"I see my wayward partner has disappeared on you." Kay said archly.  
"Kay!" Elle jumped, turning around to face said agent. Then her shoulders slumped. "Yes, she did."

#MIB#

The Christmas party wasn't so bad. All Jay had to do was to smile and wave at the occasional party-goer that she recognised. Eventually, Jay made her way to the buffet table. She had considered taking a snack with her, but she backed off when what she thought was a cheese log grew legs and staggered its way off the table.

"That cheese log should really lay off the punch." came an all too familiar voice.  
Jay looked up from the apparently drunk cheese log, and sure enough, X was leaning casually against the buffet table.  
"Yo, X." Jay greeted as she scrutinized the dip. Then she decided it was probably safer to stick with the crackers for the dip – it was the only food she recognized.  
"You do realise that you do need to see Kay sometime tonight, right?" X continued calmly.  
"X, I hate it when you're right." Jay grumbled. "By sometime tonight, do you mean now?"  
"Yes, little ears."

Jay cast one last look at the dip._ It's probably safe to eat… Nah. Maybe later._ She decided before following X back through the crowd, and to their respective partners.

However, by the time Jay and X finally found their partners again, Jay was in for a surprise, and it was one that she did not appreciate. Aileen was with Kay, and for some reason, Jay found her blood boiling. It might have been alright, if Jay hadn't heard the final words of Aileen's and Kay's conversation.

"…honestly, Kay, I really don't know why you keep her around."

Judging by the look on Elle's face, Jay knew that the two _lovebirds_ were talking about her. Then, before anyone could see that she and X had arrived, Jay ducked back into the crowds. X was still oblivious. Only Elle noticed that Jay had more or less run off. Unfortunately, Jay left before she could hear Kay's reply.

"Same reason why you keep Eddy around."  
"Ah." Aileen answered simply.

Meanwhile, Elle called out, startling X "Jay!"  
"Yeah, she's right behind me-" X broke off mid sentence when he realised that Jay was nowhere to be seen. "Where'd she go?"  
"Damn." Elle muttered, and shot a glare at Aileen, who looked slightly confused at the venom in the blond human's eyes.

"Did I do something?" Aileen asked.  
"You have no idea." Elle growled, and grabbing X's arm with one hand, dragged him into the crowd.

She had a friend to find.


	8. Chapter 8 Ornaments, Part 3

**_Author's notes: The Baltians are the tall slender aliens that the founding members of MIB first met. And the Crisis I'm referring to is the Black Christmas Syndrome._**

**_By the way, Jay's very short. Kay's at least a head taller than her._**

**Ornaments, Part 3**

The green eyed monster was quite annoying. It came when you least expected it, and often left its victim feeling empty and rather…oh, say, _murderous_.

Or just very depressed.

Jay was a mixture of both – she wasn't quite depressed, and she didn't exactly want to kill anybody; just smash a few plates or destroy a few sparring bots until she felt better.

Unfortunately, she could do neither of those things, (_"Nothing vigorous, Agent Jay." She could almost hear Zeeltor's chastising_) and instead, she opted for the next best option – some alone time on the rooftops. Jay ducked into an alcove as a familiar voice came into earshot.

"…Damn it! Where could she be?" Elle was saying to X.  
"I don't know, but maybe the…" X's voice faded out as he and Elle continued on.

"I appreciate the sentiment Elle." Jay muttered as she stepped out from the alcove. But she didn't really want to talk to anyone at the moment. After all, Elle had X, and Kay could play kissy-face with Aileen all he wanted, because Jay couldn't care less, as she didn't mind at all.

She was not jealous.

Not one bit.

_Then why am I avoiding them?_ Her conscience piped up.  
Jay mentally berated her conscience – it was usually right, pointed out uncomfortable truths, and was annoying in general.

After avoiding Zeeltor, who was talking to his plate of…germs, Jay finally made it back to the buffet table, and was slightly heartened to see that although the drunk cheese log was gone (mind you, Jay had no intention of eating it, she only wanted to take a closer look at it), the dip was still in place and the crackers hadn't been completely demolished.

Snagging a plate in one hand, she picked up a few crackers and a glob of dip, and made her way towards the elevators. She was on the lookout for Elle and X, and Aileen and Kay. If she ran into the first pair, they would never leave her alone until she spilled the beans for the second time that day. If she ran into the second pair, well, she hoped that Aileen could fight in that dress, for Kay's sake.

_I doubt they're looking for me, though._ Jay thought bitterly, too deep in her own thoughts to notice the tall alien standing in her way to the elevators. Until the near-collision.  
"Eddy?!" Jay exclaimed, then nearly face-palmed herself. _Of course he's going to be here, you idiot! He's Aileen's partner, remember, mushbrain?_

"Eddy!" Jay grinned. "I see you're still as tall as ever."  
Eddy merely smiled. "It's nice to see you too."

Jay glanced over Eddy's shoulder, and caught sight of a familiar pair of large bat-like green ears. _Damn!_  
"Uh, Eddy," Jay was still looking over his shoulder, "do you feel like going to the rooftops and finishing our conversation there?"  
Eddy looked confused, but nodded. "Sure."

Without another word, Jay dragged Eddy into one of the elevators and hit the button for the rooftop. The doors slid close with a quiet ding, and Jay let out a sigh of relief.

"Are you avoiding someone?" Eddy inquired, head cocked to one side.  
"W-what gives you that idea?" Jay laughed nervously. "I mean, what about you? Why aren't you with Aileen?"  
"I believe she wanted to converse with Agent Kay."

Jay twitched.

Both rookies rode the elevator in silence, until Eddy broke it. "What is so great about the rooftops?"

"Great?" Jay repeated incredulously, glad for the change in conversation. "Rooftops? Are you kidding?"  
"No."  
"Dude," Jay grinned, "it's the most quiet place in the base. And there's a table tennis table. And you can look at the stars. And you can get some fresh air. And you can actually hear yourself think. And-"  
"I get the picture." Eddy put up a hand to stop Jay, but he was smiling.  
"I was actually going to say and I brought dip and crackers with me." Jay finished, holding up the plate.

"You seem to be very well prepared for this outing." Eddy noted.  
"Well, I didn't exactly plan on this, but for something that was planned in twenty seconds, I'd agree with you, it is pretty well planned." Jay admitted.

Ding!  
The elevator doors slid open again.

"Well?" Jay waited patiently. "Age before beauty, Eddy."  
Eddy rolled his eyes, and exited the elevator, with Jay right behind him.  
"Just one more thing," Jay said as she set down the plate, "have you ever played table tennis?"

#MIB#

"Where the hell is she?" Elle muttered darkly. "I swear, when I get my hands on her…"  
"Better not finish that sentence, little ears." X snorted in amusement, as he watched Kay walking up behind Elle, with Aileen.

"Any sign of Jay?" Elle asked Kay.  
"Nope." Kay answered. "And I'm supposed to introduce Jay to the **_Baltians*_** in two minutes."  
Elle groaned into her hands. "A miracle had better happen soon."

A miracle did happen – in the form of Idikiukup and his trusty computer.

#MIB#

"That was the last table tennis ball." Jay commented as she and Eddy watched the said plastic sphere bounce off the railings, and drop the twenty meters to the concrete below.

When the two of them had started playing table tennis, Jay had not counted on the fact that she would be using her left hand, and that Eddy was a lot stronger than he looked. The end result was ping-pong balls flying everywhere, then bouncing off the roof (Jay was right-handed) and some balls flying off the roof without bouncing (courtesy of Eddy). Within fifteen minutes, all eighty-two ping-pong balls had disappeared into the darkness (Eddy was keeping count).

"Zed's not going to be happy." Eddy said aloud. "We lost eighty-two table tennis balls."  
"At least we didn't lose the racquets." Jay offered Eddy a sheepish grin. "And it's Bob and what's his name-"  
"-Idikiukup-" Eddy supplied  
"-yes, that, thank you," Jay continued "it's the twins that will go ballistic. I'm pretty sure they stocked up on the balls just yesterday."

Jay's communicator beeped. "Yo. Jay here." She answered the call with a grin. There was something satisfying about watching the table tennis balls falling, and of course, hitting them as hard as she could with her left hand. The grin dropped when she realised who had called her.

It was one of the twins.

"Bob?" Jay inquired, trying to determine which twin it was. To Eddy, she mouthed "_They know!_" with a mock look of horror. Eddy smothered his chuckles behind one hand. Jay winked, and winced when the warbling on the other end became indignant.

"Oh, sorry!" Jay backtracked quickly when she realised it was the other twin. "I thought you were Bob."  
Idikiukup, for it was him who was on the other end, continued warbling.  
"What!?" Jay nearly shrieked. "Half a minute? Why didn't you call me sooner?"  
Eddy couldn't hear what Idikiukup was saying, but he did pick up a few words.  
"Get down here now…imbecile…. Is…ddy up with y…"  
"Hey!" Jay protested. "I'm not an imbecile, thank you very much, and yeah, he's up here too. Did you wanna talk to him?"

This time, Eddy had no trouble hearing what Idikiukup was saying. He was, after all, warbling at the top of his voice. "Talk to him?! Talk to him?! Jay, just get yourself and Eddy down here now!"

"Alright, alright!" Jay told the twin. "I'm coming, keep your tentacles on!" Jay hung up. "Sheesh. A bit high strung, isn't he?" she said to Eddy.  
Eddy nodded in agreement. "Indeed."  
Jay sighed. "Well, we'd better get down there before our partners come up and drag us down, eh?"

#MIB#

"Kay," one Baltian noted, "you look like you are about to have a conniption. Would this have anything to do with your currently missing partner?"  
"No." Kay's face was straight.  
"She seems a bit irresponsible, though." The tall alien continued. The other Baltians nodded in agreement. "If I recall correctly, wasn't she the one who-"  
"-Who nearly got her brains blown up?" A familiar voice supplied tonelessly. "Yeah, that'd be me."

Kay looked at the owner of the voice, and blinked in surprise at the woman that stood there.

_She's in a dress. A Dress._ Kay frowned. _No, that can't be Jay, can it…?_

Jay crossed her arms, oblivious to Kay's stare. "And I'd appreciate it if you didn't rub it in." She was still speaking in that toneless voice. Eddy was standing behind her, and even he looked slightly nervous at Jay's voice.  
Jay, who usually wore her heart on her sleeve. Jay, who would never, ever, in a million years, wear a dress willingly.

Internally, Jay was shaking. _Don't show fear._ _And definitely not embarrassment. Make this look good._

Kay frowned. This was not like Jay at all. He caught Jay's eye. _We are going to have a talk after this._ he promised. Kay almost smiled when he saw Jay swallowing nervously.  
_An act, then._ He realised.

Aileen, to Jay's surprise, broke the tense atmosphere. "Well, as you can see, she is Agent Jay, Kay's partner, and," Aileen gestured to Eddy, "he is Edward, my partner."

Without another word, Kay took Jay's left hand (the one without bandages) and placed it in the crook of his arm, and led her to meet the others. For Jay, the next few minutes passed in a blur of "How do you do?"s and "Pleased to meet you."s

Finally, after speaking to many others, Kay led Jay to a secluded corner of the Christmas party. Before Kay could start the talk, his communicator started beeping.

_Saved by the communicator._ Jay mentally let out a sigh of relief.

#MIB#

QUITE A FEW HOURS LATER, AFTER THE CRISIS

Santa Claus existed. He was real. His sled was not so real, as were the Arquillian powered reindeers.

After the whole problem with Drek, Santa, and yetis, and immature aliens, Jay found herself back in headquarters, and this time, in the cafeteria. She had barely managed to avoid a furious looking Elle, and ducked into the cafeteria with a blanket and a cup of coffee, which the worms had obligingly supplied for her.

For the moment, the worms had left the cafeteria, and promised Jay to create some sort of diversion that would keep other agents from visiting the cafeteria, and give Jay a little privacy. Jay hoped that the 'diversion' did not involve flooding the hub with coffee beans.

Jay sighed contently into her mug. The upside was that she finally managed to find the right present for Kay, and that she got to see just how fast Santa's sleigh could really go.

Her good mood was ruined as one all too familiar agent sat down at the table across from her and raised his eyebrow pointedly.  
And Jay remembered the downside – the dreaded talk Kay had promised.

"I don't suppose flooding the hub with coffee beans was your plan to get out of the dance, by any chance?"

"I-What?" Jay had expected Kay to question her on where she had been hiding out for half the night. "There's a _dance_?" she squeaked. Nobody, not even Elle, had told her about the fact that there would be a dance, of all things, at the end of the Christmas Party.

To answer her question, a slow waltz started up over the speakers in the headquarters.

"Oh. My. Goodness. You've got to be kidding me!" Jay panicked. When she had graduated high school, she had spent the prom by herself, and away from the other dancers. Oh, mind you, she did know how to dance, it was just she never did.

"Why the sudden worry, Slick?" Kay teased. "You seemed perfectly fine when you were introduced to our guests."  
"That was different!"  
"Uh-huh."

Jay scowled. Kay was enjoying this way too much. "Shouldn't you be with Aileen or something?"  
"And why would that be?" Kay's eyebrow was up again.  
Jay blanched as she realised she had said her previous statement out loud, and cursed her brain to mouth filter. "I- Well, it's because-"  
"Because?" Kay prompted.  
"You two have always been close, so I assumed that you'd want to spend the party with her." Jay burst out in a single breath, and watched Kay warily. Kay's answer was not what she expected.

"I thought I told you – stay away from the rockets when they're being refuelled."

"Sure, sure-" Jay stopped mid sentence. "_What_?" she frowned suspiciously. "You wouldn't happen to be a quick clone, would you?"

Kay merely folded his arms and looked at her. When he made no move to melt into a messy puddle, Jay stopped scrutinizing him. "Fine. You're not a quick clone. Care to explain what you meant?"  
"Surely you can figure it out?" Kay retorted, his lips twitching in a way that told Jay he was holding back a smile.  
Jay grinned cheekily. "You mean that you and Aileen can't handle long distance relationships?"  
Kay rolled his eyes. "Glad we had that issue sorted out. Now stop being all green-eyed."  
Jay gasped, and her cheeks took on a red blush. "I- You knew?"

Kay didn't answer, and instead stood up from the table. "I don't suppose you'd care to dance?"  
Jay gulped. "Out there? With everyone else?"  
Kay gave her a look. "Where else?"  
"Oh, I don't know," Jay avoided looking at Kay, "maybe just in here? I mean, we can hear the music, and I'd rather not see Elle for tonight." Jay risked a glance up at Kay.  
Kay relented with a sigh. "If you insist."

Jay let out a sigh of relief, and stood up to meet her partner. She ended up standing half a metre away from him, and fiddled nervously with the sleeve of her usual suit jacket. (Jay had refused to go out in the snow and search for Santa Claus in a party dress).

Kay resisted the urge to roll his eyes (yet again) and instead, slipped an arm easily around Jay's waist, and pulled her closer. Jay started in surprise at the sudden contact, but relaxed a moment later.  
_This is Kay. Your partner, remember?_ She told herself.  
The two agents danced to the slow beat of the waltz.

_One, two, three.  
One, two, three.  
One, two, three.  
One, two, three._

"So, where were you for most of the party?" Kay asked.  
_Ah,_ Jay realised wryly, _and so it begins._ "Let's just say that the twins won't be too pleased with me."

_One, two, three.  
One, tw-_

"The ping-pong table?" Kay questioned.  
"Spot on." Jay confirmed. "You're fast."  
Kay acknowledged her comment with a small nod.

_One, two, three.  
One, two, three.  
One, two, three._

Kay could feel Jay relaxing in his hold, instead of the frayed bundle of nerves that he had seen earlier that evening. _Good-_

Kay stopped in surprise when he felt a feather light kiss brush against his jaw-line. He looked down to find Jay stepping down from the tips of her toes, and a small smile on her face.

"Mistletoe." She replied simply to his questioning look. Then she pulled him back into the rhythm of the dance as if nothing had happened.

Bemused, Kay looked up, and sure enough, a sprig of the plant had been taped to the ceiling, along with two coffee stains. _The worms._ He realised. _They're a lot smarter than we give them credit for._ Kay smiled to himself, and subconsciously pulled Jay closer.  
_His_ partner.  
_His _Jay.  
A few seconds of silence came, and Kay realised the music for the waltz had finished. The silence didn't last long.

"Eww. Do you think they smooched?"

_Stupid worms._


	9. Chapter 9 Six Feet Under

**_Author's Notes: To make things easier, Jay calls the twin (not Bob) Iddy for short. Also, references to 'The Lights Out Syndrome', and features bonding over pie, along with sorta-quotes from MIB 3._**

**_And without further ado, I present to you:_**

**Six Feet Under**

It was dark.

#MIB#

Jay wasn't always claustrophobic. It was only when she was in an enclosed space for too long, she would start to panic. It usually started with, as cliché as it may sound, the walls closing in, followed quickly by her hyperventilating, until she managed to leave the small space, or until someone snapped her out of her mini panic-attack.

#MIB#

Jay woke up to a rather uncomfortable situation. First of all, her head was throbbing due to a vicious migraine, and she was so woozy that she didn't want to try sitting up – _I'll probably end up puking._

Then there were a few other details which may have been important. Other than the fact that she couldn't move her limbs more than ten centimetres, the fact that the air she was breathing in was rather stale, the fact that she couldn't see a thing in the darkness, and the fact that she may have been recently buried in a (thankfully empty) coffin, there was absolutely nothing wrong.

She did the only thing anyone else would do in her situation.

She panicked.

#MIB#

a

ay

kay

"Kay."

"Kay!"

The words finally registered in Kay's brain, and he forced himself back into consciousness. He was met with the face of Elle, who had been apparently shaking his shoulder.

"Kay," Elle removed her hand, "how do you feel?"  
"Peachy." He answered, shaking off the migraine, and ignoring the nausea, like most trained MIB agents were taught to. "What happened?"  
"Fmooan tranquilizer." Elle replied, showing him the laughably tiny syringe. "Enough to take an elephant down."  
"How long was I out?" Kay grimaced when he realised he still couldn't feel his tongue, and pushed himself off the ground. "Where'd Jay go?"  
Elle dropped the syringe in a clear evidence bag. "About two hours. And I was going to ask you that question."  
"Damn." Kay muttered.

"I take it that the Fmecks have the exo-suit, then?" Elle didn't really need to ask that question. The lack of Jay, a dead Arquillian and a exo-suit dressed up for burial should have answered her question.

But Kay answered her anyway. "Most likely."

#MIB#

The last thing that Jay remembered were the Fmecks crashing the funeral. Surprisingly, it had been Jay who had spotted the Fmecks first, and it had also been her who was punched with a super-strengthed exo-suit and knocked into the coffin. Then she had lost consciousness, and woken up in an empty enclosed space. By the way the lid refused to budge, it wasn't too hard for Jay to figure out what had happened.

"Let me out! Let! Me! Out!" Jay punctuated each word with a blow to the coffin lid. "Can anyone hear me?" She yelled. "Someone! Anyone! Please!"

For one dreaded moment, Jay imagined running out of air, and no one finding her until it was too late. Just like that poor Arquillian who had died (of old age) in the exo-suit, and no one had realised until Zed decided to check up on all the Arquillians who were currently on earth. Zed had been very surprised to find that a funeral was to be held for the exo-suit.

Jay had been even more surprised than Zed when a few Fmecks showed up. Jay wasn't sure if Kay was surprised or not. Speaking of which…

_Where's Kay? Oh, please let him be nearby, or I'll di… Stop it, Edwards!_ Jay told herself, trying to get her breathing back under control. _Stay calm. Hyperventilating won't help. Your air supply is limited._

At the last thought, Jay nearly fell back into the abyss of breathing in just a little bit too much air. For the next minute, Jay laid flat on her back, frozen, before instincts kicked in again. This time, it was her sensible instincts.

Ignoring the walls of the coffin closing in on her, Jay pulled out her communicator.

#MIB#

"So, what did happen?" Elle asked as she and Kay scoured the cemetery for any signs or indication where Jay had gone.  
"Fmecks ambushed us. Probably took the exo-suit as well." Kay peered down another row of tombstones.  
Elle grimaced. "So _that's_ why the mourners were complaining about the lack of respect people have for the dead."

Elle suddenly stopped mid-step, and her hand flew to her mouth.  
Kay looked at her questioningly. "What is it?"  
"The coffin." Elle looked horrified. "Was it buried before you two were attacked?"

Kay swore.

#MIB#

The air was becoming harder to breathe, and Jay had just spent the last few minutes trying to call for help.

The screen was still a wall of static. Jay tried anyway. "Hello?"  
_Zzzzt._  
"Bob? Iddy? Can anyone hear me?" Jay's voice shook. She coughed and started again, this time, reaching for her partner's communicator.  
"Kay?"  
The buzzing continued, and waves of static ran through the screen.  
"Damn it." Jay whispered. Then she tweaked her communicator, until it broadcasted in all the frequencies the other communicators were tuned in to. Hopefully, someone nearby would pick it up.

"Hello? This is Agent Jay. I've been buried in Upperton Cemetery. If anyone can hear me, please respond."

_Zzzzt._

"T-this is Agent Jay," Jay's voice trembled, "I've been buried in Upperton C-cemetery. Please help me."

The screen crackled, and finally, after what seemed like eons, Kay's voice came through. "Slick?"

"Kay!" Jay called into the communicator.

"Slick!" It was definitely Kay's voice – Jay could recognise it even though it was peppered with static. "Turn …." - _bzzt - "… _tracking …" - _bzzt_ -_ "…_on!"

"Tracking? Which one's that?" Jay yelled through the communicator.

"…red…" –zzzt – "…tton…" the reply warbled through.

Jay turned the communicator over, and sure enough, a red button was on the back. Jay pressed it.

"On…way, Slick."

The connection broke, and Jay was left in darkness. She hugged the communicator to her chest, as if it would bring comfort, and more air. "Hurry." She whispered.

#MIB#

_Jay would have liked the scenery._ Elle found her thoughts to be surprisingly morbid as she and Kay dug into the earth with shovels. Kay had tracked the grave to a small hill. Sure enough, the dirt was still fresh, and had been disturbed recently.

Within five minutes of frantic digging, the two agents were nearly at the coffin.  
_Thunk!_ A shovel struck the lid of the coffin.  
Within another two minutes, the coffin was unearthed and hauled out of the hole.  
Heart thudding in her chest, Elle pried the lid open.  
Jay cracked open an eyelid, grinned weakly and quipped "What took you?"

"You alright, Slick?" Kay helped Jay out of the coffin.  
"Right as rain." Jay forced a smile.

No one noticed her shaking hands.

#MIB#

By all sense, Jay should have slept like a log that night, what with the hectic events of the day – chasing down a stolen exo-suit, and the stress of a panic attack. Unfortunately, she did not.

#MIB#

_Where am I?_

It's dark. There's no light of any kind. And the walls. They're so close together. They're closing in.

Can't breathe.

Can't breathe.

Can't brea-

Jay woke up with a rasping gasp, and rolled off her bed in the same breath. For a few moments, Jay laid on the floor, before her brain kicked in, and she dived for the bedside lamp. The light illuminated the large, spacious bedroom, definitely not the tiny coffin Jay had expecting.

"Ow." Jay groaned after realising that she had fallen off her bed, and untangled herself from the sweaty sheets.

She stood up shakily, cast a glance at her bed and knew that one thing was for sure – there was no way she was going back to sleep tonight.

Then she made her way towards the kitchen for a cup of coffee.

#MIB#

The second night didn't get any better. It was the same dream again, and this time, the only difference was that Jay did not fall off her bed, and it was only because this time, she chose to sleep on the couch.

At least the floor was padded with carpet, and yet another night was spent staring blearily at the fridge magnets that decorated Jay's fridge.

#MIB#

By the end of the week, Jay was falling asleep standing on her feet. She zoned back into the present when a yellow hand waved in front of her unfocused eyes.  
"Hello? Earth to Jay." One of the worms continued waving. "Were you even listening?"  
Jay could only reply with a dazed "Huh?"  
"Jay!" One of the other worms whined. "You mean you weren't listening to us?"

_Oh my gosh,_ Jay thought, finally returning to her senses, _I think I hurt their feelings._

Sure enough, the worms' antennae were less perky than usual, and Jay thought she heard a sniffle.

_Oh dear._ Then aloud, "Guys, I'm sorry! I haven't been sleeping well all week-"

"Have you been drinking de-caff?" One of the worms offered helpfully. "Cause that sends me right to sleep."

"Wormy!" Another cried, aghast. "Do you mean to say you actually been drinking that horrible sludge?"

"No, no!" the first worm protested. "It's not what it sounds like! I drank it by accident!"

Jay massaged her temples. "Really _not_ helpful, guys." She muttered, and left the worms to their bickering. They were giving her a headache.

Jay was about to leave the cafeteria, and found her way barred by her partner.  
"There you are, Slick."  
Jay resisted the urge to grimace.  
"We've got a situation on our hands – black out at a power plant."  
"Aw, man." Jay groaned. "Isn't that a job for an electrician?"

"Come on, Slick," Kay replied as he left the cafeteria, "the sooner we investigate this, the sooner we can go home. It's been a long week."

"I know." Jay grumbled darkly, and ignoring the migraine that threatened to overcome her senses, followed Kay to the hangar.

#MIB#

All it had taken was one slight attack of drowsiness, one lapse in judgement, and Kay was blind. And Jay knew something needed to be done about her problem. Her first solution was Zeeltor.

"Yo, Doc!" Jay poked her head into the laboratory. "You in here?"

If Jay was still unsure that her senses had been dulled by her lack of rest, then Zeeltor, of all people, managing to sneak up on her would have dispelled any doubts.

Jay let out an "Eeep!" in surprise.  
"Can I help you, Agent Jay?" the blue alien inquired.  
"Dude!" Jay glared at Zeeltor. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"  
"Sorry." Zeeltor apologised, although the effect was dimmed, as he was grinning broadly. "Now, as I was saying, how can I help you?"

"Doc," Jay asked, "do you have anything that will keep me awake? At least for the next twenty hours. I can't risk not being alert. Something worse might happen to Kay next time."  
"Ah," Zeeltor answered brightly, "I have just the thing."

Zeeltor entered the lab, with Jay closely behind. She was surprised when Zeeltor handed her a plain looking pill bottle.

"Uh…" Jay studied the bottle, "what's this?"  
"Mintonian energy pills." Zeeltor explained. "Just one pill, and all your senses will be sharpened for the next twenty four hours. Not quite your twenty."  
"Good enough for me." Jay unscrewed the lid, and was about to pop a pill into her mouth, when she paused. "Hold on. There's a catch, isn't there?"  
"Well," Zeeltor scratched his head sheepishly, "the catch, as you put it, is that after the twenty four hours, well….let's just say…"  
"What?" Jay frowned suspiciously.  
"Let's just say that these energy pills are chock full with sugar, salt, caffeine, and etc."  
"So you're saying I'll be on a sugar rush?"  
"Pretty much," Zeeltor confirmed, "except it's about five times stronger than your usual sugar rush."  
The idea that Zeeltor had been trying to convey finally hit Jay. "You mean I'll burn and crash badly after the pill wears off?"  
"Spot on, Agent Jay!" Zeeltor grinned as if Jay had just achieved something remarkable.  
"Great." Jay grumbled, then realising that she would regret this _a lot_ later, swallowed the pill. Suddenly, Jay felt more awake than she had for the entire week (which wasn't too hard to achieve anyway). "Thanks, Zeeltor." Jay waved and made her way towards the lab door.  
"Oh, and one more thing." Jay turned back at the sound Zeeltor's voice. "Don't take more than one pill per week, Jay, or you'll end up a vegetable at the end when you 'burn and crash'.'"

#MIB#

The mission went as well as could be expected, despite the complications of Kay's temporary disability, and the worms accidentally shorting out the sensors. But as Jay sat in the passenger seat ("How come I still don't get to drive?") she could feel the effects of the sugary pill wearing off, and she could feel the energy leaving her.

By the time they landed back on earth and Kay's eyes had been fixed, Jay wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep for the next week or so.

And go to sleep she did – in the passenger seat of the LTD.

Kay took his eyes off the road for a moment and glanced at his partner, when he realised that the car was empty of Jay's usually endless commentary on the people they passed by, or the mission they might have gone on.

Kay sighed. He hoped Jay would wake up soon – they were nearly at the apartment block that most MIB agents slept in.

Unfortunately for Kay, Jay didn't wake up, until hours later, from a nightmare. Hours after Kay had carried Jay up the stairs and left her in her room.

#MIB#

There's light.

_Well, this is different. Open air for once._

The grass stretches for as far as she can see, and it's dotted with rows, upon rows of white, identical tombstones, except for the words etched upon them.

_Worms._

Jay stumbles backwards, and nearly trips over another one.

_X._

Jay tears her eyes away from the tombstone. _No, this can't be happening!_

The next tombstone isn't any better.

_L._

But the worst is yet to come.

_K._

#MIB#

It was three in the morning when Bob was woken up rather rudely by an incoming call from one of the agents – Jay, to be specific – and it was no surprise that he was very annoyed.

After a lengthy debate of two minutes, Bob finally agreed to hook Jay's communicator up temporarily to the security feed of the cafeteria, the training hall, and the laboratory.

Jay was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief when the security feeds showed the worms asleep (or passed out) in the cafeteria, surrounded by mugs of coffee, X obliterating yet another training bot (the alien rarely slept), and Elle asleep in the midst of piles of notes (every now and then, Elle would sneak into the laboratory to make sure Zeeltor hadn't destroyed it).

All that was left was Kay, and Bob had flatly refused to allow Jay to even mention viewing the security feed for _that.  
_"Bob," Jay had sighed in exasperation, "it's not what it looks like. I just want to make sure he's alright."  
Bob had warbled something along the lines of "You pervert."

And that was how Jay found herself outside of Kay's apartment door at three o'clock in the morning. Taking a deep breath, Jay knocked. A few seconds later, the door didn't open.  
_This is stupid._ Jay told herself. _He's fine, he's probably just sleeping. You really shouldn't be disturbing him, especially at this hour-_

The door opened, and there stood Kay, his usually impeccable hair ruffled from sleep, and dressed plain pyjamas. "Slick?"  
The only thing that crossed Jay's mind was "Wait. You actually sleep? You're a lot more human than I thought."  
Kay crossed his arms, raised an eyebrow and gave Jay an unimpressed look. "Well?"

_Uh oh. All three in one._ Jay swallowed nervously. "Well, you see… I, uh-" she stammered. "I- never mind. It was stupid anyway. You see, I haven't been-"  
"Jay." Kay interrupted in a monotone.  
"-sleeping well… well, more like I've been-" Jay continued as if Kay hadn't said anything (she didn't hear him anyway)  
"Jay."  
"-having nightmares. And tonight's was probably one of the worst ones I've had all-"  
"Jay."  
"What?" Jay finally noticed Kay's attempts at talking to her.  
"Inside. Now. Into the kitchen."  
Jay blinked in surprise. _That_ was not the response Jay had been expecting. "What?"  
"You heard me." Kay's voice drifted from within the apartment. "Unless you want to stand out there all night."  
"Oh." Jay replied quietly, and followed Kay into his apartment. The layout of the apartments were all the same, and Jay found the kitchen without too much trouble.

Kay in the meanwhile, had taken his time in returning to his bedroom and putting on a dressing gown. He had a feeling it was going to be a long night. After all, it wasn't every day (night) that his partner would come knocking on her own accord for help. Judging by the little sense he could gather from Jay's short monologue, he had gotten the main idea.

_Jay. Nightmares. Possible stress from recent mission/s. Prognosis? Frayed bundle of nerves. Again._

Finally, Kay joined Jay in the kitchen. "Sit down." He nodded towards one of the stools lining the bench. Satisfied that Jay was seated, Kay dug around the fridge, and re-emerged with two plates of…

"Pie?" Jay stared incredulously. "I must be going nuts." She muttered to herself. Kay pretended not to hear.  
Instead, he pushed one of the plates towards Jay and passed her a fork. "Eat up."  
Jay shot Kay a bemused glance, before shrugging. "Thanks."

The next few minutes were spent in relative silence as both Jay and Kay munched on their own respective slices of pie.

"Why pie, of all things?" Jay couldn't hold back the question any longer.  
This time, Kay shrugged. "My grand pappy always said, when in trouble, go for pie."  
"Your grandfather," Jay grinned with some of her old spirit, "was he a heavyset man by any chance?"  
"What gave you that idea?" Kay deadpanned, and Jay fought back a giggle, although she sobered almost immediately.  
"Ugh. Sorry for waking you up, Kay." Jay apologised, shame-faced.  
Kay shrugged again. Sleep didn't really matter much to him. "Insomnia's not as lonely with two."  
Jay smiled sheepishly. That was as close as to an 'It's all right' she would ever get from Kay.

The insomniac side of Jay didn't last very long. Ten minutes later, Jay had fallen asleep at the bench. Kay looked up from his almost finished plate of pie, and smiled when he saw that Jay was breathing evenly, in and out, in and out.

Kay scooped Jay up, cradled the young woman against him, and carried her over to the couch before setting her down gently. Kay rummaged in the cupboard for a spare blanket. When he returned with it, Jay's peaceful demeanour had left, and her face was contorted with distress.

Kay leaned closer, and heard her previously unintelligible mumble. "No, Kay. Don't leave." Jay shifted uneasily on the couch.  
"Oh, Jay." Kay murmured softly, and ran a hand through Jay's thick hair. "I'm fine. I'm right here."  
Jay relaxed fractionally at the sound of Kay's voice, and seemed to lean towards his hand.

When it appeared that Jay had settled down, Kay pulled away, and was almost immediately stopped with a soft noise of distress from Jay. Kay sighed for what seemed like the umpteenth time that night, and was resigned to his fate as a pillow for Jay.

Carefully pulling Jay into a sitting position, Kay manoeuvred himself next to her, wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and pulled the blanket over the both of them.

Jay curled up against Kay in her sleep, and rested her head on his shoulder, her breath tickling his neck. Kay nearly flinched violently, and silently cursed his ticklishness.  
_Do it for Jay. _He convinced himself. Eventually, he tuned out the light tickles against his neck, and followed Jay into sleep.

The next morning, Jay would blush and stammer in embarrassment upon waking up and fib to Elle about why she was in Kay's room. But in retrospect, it was all worth it.

For Jay had slept without dreaming, for the first time in seven days.


	10. Chapter 10 It's Mutual

**_Author's Notes: Happens during and after The Alpha Syndrome. Also, dialogue from previously mentioned episode. The mushroom refers to "Always the mushroom. Keep me in the dark and feed me fertiliser." (From The Lights Out Syndrome)_**

**_Jay seems to have a much closer relationship with the worms than any other agent._**

**It's Mutual**

_ALPHA: "Is Kay still Mr Happy?"  
JAY: "You're being sarcastic, right?"_

_-The Alpha Syndrome_

#MIB#

"Come on, guys." Jay tried to wrangle intel out of the worms. "You still owe me."  
"Nuh-uh!" Wormy #1 shook a finger at Jay. "We saved you from the horde of Darkons, remember?"  
"After which I prevented one Darkon from beheading the lot of you." Jay refused to back down.  
"That makes us even." Wormy #2 finished triumphantly. "I'd say it was a mutual butt-saving situation."

Jay scowled, and racked her brains for any time she had rescued the worms from a tough scrape. "How about the time I saved you guys from the janitor?"  
"We created a diversion for you-" Wormy #3 protested.  
"Which failed, seeing as Kay managed to find me after all." Jay smirked.  
Wormy #4 muttered under his breath, "You got to kiss him, didn't you?" but otherwise remained silent.

"Just one name." Jay pleaded. "Tell me who taught Kay everything he knew, and I'll call it even. No more favours until you guys somehow end up in my debt again."  
"Oh," Wormy #1 shared a glance with his colleagues, "alright. Alpha."  
"Alpha?" Jay parroted. "That's it?"

But the worms were already on the retreat – Wormy #4 had picked up their supply of coffee (the coffee pot), and the four night crawlers were escaping into one of the pantry cupboards. "Yeah, that's it." One of them confirmed. "But if anyone asks, we didn't tell you anything, right?"

"Right." Jay reassured them.  
The pantry door swung shut.

#MIB#

ACCESS DENIED.

_Well, this sucks._ Jay glared at the flashing words.

"Amazing, Jay." Elle commented. "You can type."  
"Picking a lock would be more accurate." Jay snapped over her shoulder. "Think you can do better?"

"I'm taking that as a challenge." Elle remarked as she took the seat Jay vacated, and typed away. To Jay's secret delight, Elle cracked the problem within minutes.  
"Elle," Jay declared, "you're brilliant, did I ever tell you that?"  
Elle sat back in a self-satisfied manner. "Nope. But feel free to say it often." she smirked.  
Jay spared Elle an eye-roll before leaning over the screen and skimming over the data.

Moments later, both women jumped as Zed's finger pressed a button (Jay suspected it was a _I'm-Turning-This-File-Off-Now_ button).  
"Do you have," Zed hissed dangerously, "any idea what the penalty for hacking in this organisation is?"

Elle tried to unsuccessfully escape out the room, but unfortunately for her, Kay was watching. "Why don't you ask Elle that?"  
"No, wait," Jay protested from across the room, "it's my fault." She admitted.

Most officers of the NYPD knew not to judge Detective Edwards by her admittedly small and (some of the braver officers dared to call her) delicate appearance. Those who judged her at a first glance often ended up on the receiving end of her rather infamous death stare, which would replace the usually easy-going look with one that promised trouble, or a lot of pain.

Kay found himself facing one of those stares.

"But I wouldn't need to do this if _somebody_," Jay glared at Kay, "didn't treat me like a mushroom."

Zed quirked an eyebrow at Kay. '_What?'_  
Kay mouthed back '_Later.'_

Jay wasn't finished. "Look, trust has to work both ways."  
"What are you saying, Jay?" Kay scowled at his partner.  
Usually, Jay might have made a big deal out of Kay finally using her name, but now, she couldn't care less. "I'm saying if you can't trust me, then, I don't think our partnership will work. I'm saying," Jay turned to face Zed, "reassign me another partner."

A look of shock stole across Kay's face before it was replaced with a neutral blank mask.

It was Zed's turn to look annoyed. "And just who did you have in mind, junior?"  
"I don't know…." Jay thought for a moment, "…how about that Agent A? He seemed nice enough."

Zed's face darkened. "There is **no** Agent A."

#MIB#

MUCH LATER

"Look, Jay," Elle sighed in exasperation, "so we know where Kay and Alpha are. I really don't think we can take him on-"  
"Don't worry, Elle," Jay didn't look worried in the least, "I've got a plan."

Elle snorted. "Are you actually saying you thought this through?"  
Jay pretended to look insulted. "Elle, I'm hurt."

Before Elle could make another possibly scathing comment, the lab door swung open, and out walked…Jay?

"A quick clone?" Elle frowned. "_That's_ your plan?"

"Not just a quick clone, Agent L," Zeeltor had followed the Jay look-alike, "but also a time bomb."  
Jay smirked. "Now, would you like to hear my plan?"  
Elle rolled her eyes. "Why not, Miss Perfect?" she asked sarcastically.  
"Alright," Jay grinned, "here's how it goes. You get in there, send the Jay clone to Alpha, get Kay out of there, and boom! No more Alpha."  
Elle gave Jay an unimpressed look. "Only you could come up with something this simple."  
"Just admit it," Jay elbowed Elle, "I'm a genius."

The only part that Jay left out was that she planted a bug and a camera on the clone, so that she could hear everything being said. She was not missing out on this.

#MIB#

NOT THAT MUCH LATER

"And how about them?" Alpha looked at Elle and 'Jay'. "Are they also along for the 'ultimate ride'?"  
Kay didn't reply, but he didn't press the button either.  
"Didn't think so." One of Alpha's many limbs snatched the can away and threw it away into a corner.

By this time, Jay had managed to get closer. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything, gentlemen."  
If looks could destroy, Jay would have vaporised. "You have no idea, _Slick._" Kay ground out.

Then without warning, Alpha's tentacles shot out again, and this time, snatched Jay off the ground. Kay would have thrown himself at his ex-mentor for daring to lay a single finger/tentacle on his partner, if it weren't for Elle's restraining hand.

"Kay, stop!" Elle ordered. "Jay knew what she was doing when she signed up for this."  
Kay threw off Elle's hand. "What are you saying?"  
"I'm saying," Elle emphasized, "_leave_ her."  
"What?!"  
Elle tried again. "I'm saying Jay's _expendable._"

Understanding lit up in Kay's eyes, and the two agents beat a hasty retreat. The bomb only had a few more seconds to go, and it didn't look as if Alpha was going to let 'Jay' go anytime soon.

Alpha watched the two agents leave. "Hm." He said to 'Jay', "They never realise how easily broken rookies are."

Then, to 'Jay' (and the real Jay's) surprise, Alpha let her go. "It would have destroyed Kay if you died." He answered simply at the quick clone's confused look.  
"Isn't that what you want?" The clone demanded.  
"No, not quite." Alpha replied enigmatically. "And that is why I'll be giving you a fighting chance."

'Jay' grinned crookedly. "That won't be necessary." Then she launched herself at the ex-MIB agent, melting as she did so. "Grilled cheese is the best." She warbled.

The bomb landed neatly at Alpha's feet.

5…  
Alpha's eyes widened in alarm, as he realised that he had been had.  
4…  
He dove off the platform, and scrambled for the one possible escape.  
3…  
Alpha landed in the sewers, and pulled the manhole block back over his head, and skittered down one end of the dark tunnel.  
2…  
In spite of the situation, Alpha smiled in the darkness. _She's a bright one, Kay._  
1…  
_And I'll look forward to seeing you again, Agent Jay._

0.

Alpha left the smouldering warehouse behind him, with his prize – a small beaker full of quick clone goo – clasped safely in his hands, the human ones.

#MIB#

All three agents were given the weekend off, although Zed made Jay stay behind.

"I need to have a word with you, junior."

Jay stopped mid-step, silently lamenting that she could have almost made it out of Zed's office. Elle gave her a pitying look as she passed, but Kay didn't glance, let alone say a word to Jay.

"I've thought about what you've said, Jay," Zed started as soon as the others left, "and I've checked for available spots. So far, there are three other agents who are in need of partners."

Jay let out a sigh of relief. For a moment, she had expected Zed to berate her.

"And I'll let you decide on Monday." Zed finished.  
"Monday?" Jay asked. "Sorry sir, I don't mean to sound rude, but why not today?"  
"I want you to consider it over the weekend." Zed answered simply.  
"I don't suppose you're trying to change my mind, are you?" Jay asked suspiciously.  
"What gave you that idea?" Zed tried his best to look innocent.  
Jay gave her boss a pointed look.

Zed's innocent façade crumbled as he sighed. "He's damn too stubborn to admit this, but Kay's going to need you, after all this."  
Jay wasn't sure what to say.  
"Enjoy your weekend." Zed dismissed her from his office. "But at least give it some thought, will you?"  
"I make no promises."

#MIB#

Jay did give it some thought. Quite a lot, actually. So much, that she spent half of Friday night staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep.

She needed to talk to Kay.

Jay felt a sense of déjà vu as she knocked on Kay's apartment door, except this time, no-one answered the door. Jay grumbled when it became apparent that either Kay wasn't in his apartment, or he was ignoring her on purpose.

Jay suspected the former – when she had tried calling him earlier, she hadn't heard the beeping coming from his room.  
Or maybe he had destroyed the device after the twentieth call.

Jay gave up with a sigh, and left the apartment door for a night spent tossing and turning.

#MIB#

When she didn't see Kay at all on Saturday, she searched for him the day after.

"Yo, worms!" Jay poked her head into the kitchen.  
"You look terrible, Jay." Neeble greeted between sips of coffee. "No sleep last night?"  
Jay grimaced. "No, not really. Has Kay gone by this way?"  
"Maybe."

Jay groaned. "Great." First of all, Zeeltor had given her a vague answer of whether or not he had seen Kay, although Jay got the general idea that he had dropped in the laboratory at _some_ point in the past few weeks. Which didn't really help her at all. "Let me rephrase that – have you seen a surly brown haired man who smiles like this-" Jay made a deadpan face "-come by this way for coffee?"

The worms smiled in unison. "Well, when you put it that way-"  
"-then, yes-"  
"-a brown haired man did-"  
"-come this way, but not for a cup of java."  
"-and it was nearly two hours ago."

_And yet another dead end._

#MIB#

"Try Zed's office." Elle suggested, without looking up from her crossword puzzle.  
"Gee, thanks." Jay replied sarcastically.  
"No, really," Elle stopped staring at her crossword. "I saw him just there."  
"How long ago?" Jay demanded.  
"About two minutes. Why?" Elle asked.  
"Not important!" Jay called over her shoulder.  
Elle rolled her eyes, and returned her attention to the crossword. "You're welcome."

#MIB#

Jay burst into the office, only to find it empty of Kay. Zed shot her a mild glare from behind his desk. "Don't you knock anymore? And isn't this your weekend off?"

"Sometimes, and yes." Jay answered absentmindedly. "Where's Kay?"  
"Just missed him, kid." Zed replied.  
"Darn." Jay muttered.  
"Something you wanted to talk to me about, junior?" Zed asked impatiently, his arms folded.  
Jay paused on her way out, "Not really, sir. Sorry for disturbing you."

Zed took one look at her slumped shoulders, and decided to help her out. "He likes to play golf, you know."  
Jay spun around. "_What?_"  
"On the rooftops." Zed continued matter-of-factly. "Usually at night. He goes up there to sulk."  
"Oh. _Oh._" Jay blinked in realisation.  
"Don't tell him I said that!" Zed ordered sharply.  
"My lips are sealed, chief."

#MIB#

Kay was on the rooftops, alright. But he wasn't golfing, nor was he _sulking_. Kay didn't do _sulking_.

He _brooded, _thank you very much.

Instead, he was seated on one of the benches, and was stargazing. Idly, he wondered if he would be reassigned a new partner as well, although he doubted that he would work as well as he did with Jay.

_Beep. Beep._

Kay sighed. He knew that Jay was calling him, no doubt. He also knew that she would be answered with a recording of "I'm busy. Leave a message." Of course, for the past twenty-five missed calls, Jay had flatly refused to leave a message.

To his surprise, this time, Jay did leave a message.

_Twenty-six's the charm._

"Kay?" Jay's voice paused. "I know you can hear this. And I just wanted to say…uh…that is…"

Kay shook his head ruefully. Jay was never very eloquent.  
"What I'm trying to say is, well, do you remember what I said to you earlier?" The voice continued nervously. "You know, about a partnership built on trust? My Aunt Rose taught me that. And you see, she also said that sometimes, you have to take a leap of faith."  
_And this is relevant, how? _Kay raised an eyebrow.  
"So, I guess I'm saying, I'm taking that leap of faith, Kay."  
Kay stared at the communicator. _She's…very trusting._ He ignored the moisture forming in his eyes. It had been a long time since he had someone so…loyal and, well, trusting in him. It was quite touching.  
"If you think that I'm not ready to know, or heck, if you don't wanna tell…then, I'll just have to trust you, and your decisions." Jay finished awkwardly. "So, I guess you'll see me tomorrow."

Kay wiped at his eyes, and froze mid movement when he heard a noise coming from behind him.

"Aw, nuts." Jay grimaced. "I made you cry."

Kay put on his sunglasses before turning around to find Jay standing behind him, with an _oh-no-I've-been-caught_ look on her face.  
Kay opened his mouth to retort, but Jay beat him to the punch. "Oh, no you don't. You can't blame rocket fumes or fuel this time."  
A small smile appeared on Kay's face. "You know me well."

Jay dropped down on the bench next to him. "So, this is where you've been hiding out."  
Kay didn't answer, and looked out over the buildings. He looked back at Jay in surprise when he felt a warm cup being pressed into his hands. He quirked an eyebrow at the very familiar thermos and the mugs she currently held.  
"Borrowed it from the worms." Jay offered as an explanation, and pushed the mug, which Kay identified as a peace offering, into his hands.

Kay found himself thankful for the hot, but not scalding, coffee. Spring had just begun, the nights were still chilly. Next to him, Jay sat wordlessly and sipped at her own mug.

The two agents sat in companionable silence, watching the stars, until...

"Achoo!"  
"We should probably get inside, Slick."  
"Good thinking, partner."

#MIB#

Zed hid a smug grin on Monday, when Jay sought him out and declared (rather sheepishly) that she didn't need a partner change.  
"Glad you chose to stick with him, kid." Zed nodded towards an oblivious Kay downstairs. "He needs you."  
"I know." Jay replied, thinking of the bear hug she had given Kay the night before, and how his arms had wrapped around her hesitantly, and tentatively hugged her back (after his jaw was no longer dropped in surprise). "I know he does."


	11. Chapter 11 Murphy's Law, Pt 1

**_Author's notes: Alright, listen up, ladies and germs. This is going to the second-last mini story of The GiB. But don't worry, there's going to be a sequel._**

**_Murphy's Law – What can go wrong, will go wrong.  
Keep that in mind.  
Also, there's a bit of dialogue from Tomb Raider Underworld, so have fun spotting it._**

**_Anyway, this oneshot takes place a few weeks after the previous chapter._**

**Murphy's Law**

Thirty-seven hour days weren't that bad, even if Jay missed out on some sleep. She had, after all, been through worse before. The week of 'The Coffin Incident' (as X had dubbed it) was proof of that.

Even so, Jay smothered a yawn in one hand as she watched Kay conversing with Bobo the Squat. Jay stopped her movement when she realised that the portable oxygen mask she was wearing defeated the whole purpose of smothering a yawn.

"Come on, Slick." Kay started down the sewer tunnel. "Bobo says something doesn't belong here."  
"Yeah, _us_." Jay grumbled, wrinkling her nose at a pile of what she hoped it really wasn't.

Jay's opinion (the one of not belonging, not identifying piles of disgusting matter) was proven wrong when the two stumbled upon the thing that obviously didn't belong in the sewers.

"Is that a… cocoon?" If the sewerage wasn't enough to make Jay disgusted, the green pulsing _thing_ in front of them certainly did the trick.

Wordlessly, Kay stepped forward and started to tear at it. Jay mentally applauded his braveness in touching it, even if he was wearing gloves. Kay stopped mid tear when a very familiar face was uncovered.

"Alpha." Kay's blue eyes narrowed as he pulled out his gun. Jay mirrored his movement, and by the time Alpha tumbled out of the slimy cocoon, he had two guns trained on him.

A low animalistic growl filled the air.

"Talk about remodelling." Jay couldn't resist the quip, staring at his new arm and other appendages. Then she looked at the ring of…petals(?) around his neck. "Are those daisy petals?"

"They are not daisies." Alpha shot her a low growl, before his face relaxed marginally."Well," Alpha stopped his growling, and answered casually, as if they were merely discussing the weather, "I was a bit damaged after our last… encounter."

"Keep your appendages where I can see them." Kay commanded.

The low growl was the only warning that Jay and Kay got before Alpha and his damned tentacles got the better of them, by sending the two of them sprawling into the sewerage.

Kay and Jay were left looking up at the shaft Alpha had escaped into while the two of them were preoccupied with picking themselves out of the sewerage.

"That was gross, Alpha, even for you! Gross, ya hear me?" Jay yelled up the shaft.

Kay looked at the now empty cocoon. "We're going to need a clean-up crew."  
"And a change of clothes." Jay added, looking over her ruined suit.

#MIB#

Elsewhere, not that far away, Alpha pulled out the beaker of Jay-The-Quick-Clone goo from his arm. Then suddenly, as if possessed, Alpha coughed violently, and reached into his own throat with one of his tentacles. Delicately, he drew out a wisp of what appeared to be ink black smoke, except it writhed in his grasp.

He dropped both into a chemical tank, not that different from the ones in MiB headquarters. Somewhere, deep inside Alpha, agent A was horrified.

Inside the tank, the goo started to bubble, and a Jay, suit and all, formed. There was, however, a minor defect – the eyes were blank.

#MIB#

Two clean suits and one clean-up crew later, Jay and Kay did not head back into the sewers, as Jay had expected.

"So, why are we at Frank's again?" Jay cast a side-long glance at Kay. "Not that I'm complaining, or anything." She added quickly.  
"Might be something in the hotsheets." Kay answered.

Frank's newsstand wasn't that far away from the manhole where they had discovered Alpha, so there wasn't much point in driving the LTD.

Hands in her pockets, Jay strolled down the street next to Kay, humming softly to herself as she watched the environment around her. Save for the light stench of the sewers, it wasn't such a bad walk. It was quite a sunny spring morning.

"Can you stop that?" Kay's voice jolted her out of her daydream.  
"Would you prefer it if I whistled?" Jay grinned cheekily.

Kay let out an exasperated sigh.

Neither were aware of the Jay look-alike tailing them.

#MIB#

As usual, Kay scanned the contents of the hotsheets while Jay perused a baseball magazine.

"Psst."

Startled, Jay looked up from her magazine, and looked around.  
_Nope,_ she thought as she watched Frank scratch himself, _wasn't him._  
Kay wasn't even looking her way, and his nose was still buried in the hotsheets. Anyhow, who was she kidding? This was Kay she was talking about, not some kid playing pranks.

"Psst." This time, the voice seemed more urgent.

Jay glanced around the corner, and sure enough, someone was beckoning to her. And that someone looked exactly like her.

Jay shot another glance at Kay, before walking around the corner. "You a quick clone or something?" She hissed at the doppelganger. "You know we can't be seen together, not out of MIB headquarters." Without another word, Jay dragged her copy into a nearby alleyway.

Jay should have realised something was wrong the moment the clone smiled back nastily.  
"You're right." 'Jay' grinned.

Unfortunately, the real Jay was busy wondering _why_ a quick clone of herself was smiling like a shark to realise that something was very wrong indeed.

"You've got to go." The Clone finished, and drew her fist back for a punch.

Jay saw the punch coming, and lunged to the left, sweeping her right foot up in an arc at the same time to balance herself, and to hopefully kick the rogue clone into the alleyway's narrow walls.

It didn't work.

The Clone picked herself off the ground, and gave Jay a disdainful look before dusting off her jacket. "That meant to hurt?"  
"Don't worry, the Noisy Cricket packs quite a punch." Jay pulled out the said weapon, and was sadly unprepared when the Clone swiped at the weapon, and the gun was knocked out of her hands.

Moving her left foot slightly behind her right, and positioning her arms into an 'L' shape, Jay made a 'bring it on' motion with her hand. Now, she could catch any punches or blows thrown at her without being easily unbalanced.

A feral grin split the Clone's features, and Jay suddenly wondered if she had underestimated the doppelganger.

Still wearing that same creepy grin, the Clone attacked with a series of fast, hard and not to mention painful punches that Jay could barely deflect or dodge. Several landed on their intended target. If it was possible for the situation to get any worse, it did.  
While the Clone struck, she had also been slowly, but surely, backing Jay further and further into the alleyway, until Jay finally realised (too late) when she backed up against a wall to avoid the Clone's most recent attack (a roundhouse kick aimed at her midsection).

_Damn Murphy's Law._ Jay had time to curse before another fist shot towards her head.

Jay ducked, and nearly rolled into a bin. Shaking her head, she pulled herself up, and glanced at the spot where her head was – the brick had several cracks in it, and mortar between the bricks had chipped off.

Jay swallowed nervously.

The Clone pulled her hand back with a snarl, more of frustration than pain.

_Well. Sh*t._ Jay took a step back, and stepped onto a trashcan lid. "Time for me to go onto the offensive." She murmured, bent down, swiped the lid with one hand and brought it up in time to block yet another powerful kick from the Clone. Then, in the same movement, swung the lid hard into the Clone's surprised face.

Letting out another snarl (this one was definitely of pain), the Clone directed another punch, this time aimed at Jay's shoulder. However, this time, Jay was prepared.

She dropped the lid, and instead of swerving away from the punch, stepped forwards to meet it. The look of shock was clearly visible on the Clone's face, and she faltered mid-strike. Jay grinned, and took advantage of this hesitation. She grabbed the Clone's outstretched arm, and using the Clone's momentum, threw her look-alike over her shoulder.

The Clone hit the wall with a satisfying smack and a loud pop, and Jay couldn't help but wince in sympathy. The brief sympathy turned into shock when the Clone looked up. The sunglasses had been knocked off during the fight, but as Jay was too busy trying not to get brained against the wall, she hadn't noticed the blank and colourless eyes.

With another snarl (Jay briefly wondered if the Clone was related to Alpha in any way), the Clone straightened from the ground, and popped her shoulder back into place without so much as a wince.

Jay moved back into the defensive position, her mind racing, as she blocked, deflected and dodged the incoming blows. So far, all she had thrown at the quick clone (if it was even a quick clone) had proved to be useless. And Jay was unarmed. Her best bet was probably to make a run for the newsstand.

A punch whistled by her ear, and Jay realised just how close her head had come to becoming a smear on a brick wall. _Come on, Edwards. Focus._ Her lapse in attention proved to be her undoing.

"Enough." The Clone scowled, showing sharp pointy teeth, and her hand closed in around Jay's throat. Jay gasped and struggled in the chokehold, but to no avail. The Clone's grip was unnaturally strong.

"What are you?" Jay wheezed, still clawing helplessly at the arm on the end of the choking hand.  
"I'm you," the Clone lifted Jay easily off the ground, "with the flaws removed." Mercilessly, she slammed Jay repeatedly against the wall, until the MiB agent went limp.

The Clone dropped Jay like a sack of potatoes, and left the alleyway to find Kay, whistling as she went.

#MIB#

Kay had finished the hotsheets a while ago, and when he found Jay nowhere to be seen, he assumed that she had already gone back to the LTD. Shrugging to himself, returned to the LTD.

She wasn't there.

Before a feeling of slight panic could settle in his stomach, he caught sight of Jay coming around the corner. However, the foreboding feeling didn't leave him. He couldn't help feeling that this was all _wrong._

"Where've you been, Slick?" Kay asked as soon as Jay joined him in the LTD.  
"Places. Seeing people." The Clone waved a hand innocently, eyes hidden back behind the sunglasses.  
Kay frowned, but didn't comment.

"So, are we headed back to headquarters?" 'Jay' asked in a perfect imitation of the original.  
"Positive." Kay answered, pulling the car into the streets. "It's nearly impossible to track Alpha, and the clean-up crew couldn't come up with any leads. There's nothing more we can do here."  
"Good." The Clone grinned sinisterly. _So, there's no chance of them finding the real Jay._ She dropped the grin when Kay whipped his head around to stare at her.  
"What?" Kay looked at 'Jay' curiously.  
"Uh, I mean," 'Jay' stuttered, "I'm just glad we don't have to go down the sewers anymore. Eyes on the road, Kay."  
Kay gave her one last scrutinising look before returning his attention to the road.

#MIB#

"Ma'am?" a voice asked persistently. "Are you alright?"

" 'M fine." Jay groaned and tried to sit up, only to find she couldn't. "Huh?"  
"You were in pretty bad shape when we found you." The voice continued.

From her point on the stretcher, Jay observed her surroundings. _An ambulance._ Jay realised, and watched as the young man (the owner of the voice) adjusted the straps holding her onto the stretcher. The ambulance went over a bump in the road, and Jay winced when the movement jostled her pounding head.

Then the thought finally kicked in. _Hm. An ambulance. An ambulance?! Oh, no!_

"Yeah, we got an anonymous call that you were in an alleyway. He hung up before we could ask for details 'bout your accident…"

Jay tuned out the babbling man. If she was on the way to a hospital, then it meant that her Clone (_That bitch!_) was on the way possibly back to HQ, with Kay, no doubt. She had to work fast, if she wanted to warn Kay.

Jay glanced down at the straps holding her down again. Only her arms and waist was secured. _Well, I guess it could be worse._

She waited until the nurse checked up on the equipment in the ambulance before twisting her arm to stretch and loosen the strap.

"Hey, what are you doing?" By the time the nurse checked back on his patient, Jay had managed to free her hand, put on her sunglasses, and set up the neuralyser.

"Breaking out." The flash lit up the inside of the ambulance. "Not that I was here in the first place." Jay added, before freeing herself. Then at the next traffic lights, Jay limped out of the back of the ambulance, although not before neuralysing the driver as well.

#MIB#

"Well?" the head doctor tapped his foot impatiently. "Where have you been? Wasn't there supposed to be an injured person with you?"

The driver and the nurse exchanged glances. "Uh, we didn't pick up anyone."

The head doctor glared accusingly. "You were out on a coffee break, again, weren't you?"


	12. Chapter 12 Murphy's Law, Pt 2

**_Author's Notes: Part two of 'Murphy's Law'._**

**_Previously, Alpha's created an evil twin of Jay, who has replaced her at MiB HQ. Meanwhile, the real Jay has escaped the ambulance._**

**Murphy's Law, Part 2**

As soon as 'Jay' and Kay arrived in headquarters, 'Jay' mumbled something about needing to find someone, and disappeared almost as soon as Zed appeared. Kay found himself dragged into Zed's office for another pep talk, about how to not go after Alpha by himself this time, or at least bring more back up than a rookie and a Noisy Cricket.

'Jay', in the meantime, skulked around headquarters familiarised herself with the layout. Nobody stopped her; it wasn't an uncommon sight to see Jay walking around, after all.

#MIB#

Frank looked up from the gazette he was reading. "Jay?!"  
"Hey, Frank."Jay stumbled to a stop at the newsstand. "Look, I appreciate you calling the ambulance and all, but why couldn't you just tell Kay?"  
"Woah, woah." Frank shook a paw at Jay. "Hold up. I did not call an ambulance. Been here the whole time."  
"You didn't?" Jay asked incredulously. "Then who-?" Jay frowned.  
"Anyway," Frank continued, "didn't you just go back to MiB Headquarters with Kay? What happened, by the way? No offense, but you look terrible."  
"I feel terrible, Frank." Jay replied. Then she started. "Wait! You're saying they're already gone? How long ago?"  
"About half an hour ago." Frank answered. "Now, just what is going on here?"

But Jay was already limping away. "I'll explain later!"

#MIB#

Kay finally left the office, and found Jay near the kitchen. That was when he noticed something odd.  
Jay was ignoring the worms, even when they greeted her. Right now, they were shooting suspicious glances at her from across the kitchen.

"Slick?"  
Jay didn't respond.  
"Jay." Kay tried again.  
"Oh!" the woman turned around, and grinned sheepishly when she saw Kay. "I thought you were talking to the worms."  
The foreboding feeling returned, tenfold. "Well," Kay covered up his suspicions, "I wasn't. Come on."  
'Jay' followed him. "Where're we going?"  
"The laboratory."

The Clone had seen the mistrustful look Kay had given her, and she knew that he suspected something was off about 'Jay'. Even more obvious was the way he had slowed down, and walked behind her. Kay obviously didn't trust her anymore.

'Jay' stopped when she felt the barrel of a blaster dig into her back. "Ah. I see the jig is up."  
"Where's Jay?" Kay growled dangerously. "The _real_ one."  
"What, don't you like the new and improved one?" the Clone whirled around, and moved out of the firing line of Kay's gun. The stray blast struck into the wall. Before Kay could fire again, the Clone moved with lightning speed, and knocked the gun out of his hands.

The Clone kicked Kay away from her, and pulled out an icer. It took two shots to stop Kay. The first one struck a fire extinguisher while the second hit Kay's leg.

But Kay hadn't been standing idly. He had switched his icer to the Anti-Freeze setting, and managed to neutralise the effects of a normal icer (ice spreading all over the target and freezing it). Instead, he managed to stop the layer of ice just as it covered his chest. However, he wasn't in much of a position to stop the Clone from swiping his icer from him.

The Clone stepped up to him, and smirked. "Not bad. You lasted a few minutes longer than Jay."

Kay clenched his jaw, and resisted the urge to flinch when 'Jay' trailed a finger down his cheek.  
"You know," the Clone continued casually, twirling the icer between her fingers, "it's really quite obvious how _she-_" and Kay knew that the Clone was referring to the real Jay "-feels about you. I don't blame her."  
Kay remained silent.  
"Pity she's not brave enough to do what I have the guts to." The Clone hooked a finger under Kay's chin, and pressed her lips against his.

Kay tried to jerk his head away from the Clone, but she held fast until a voice interrupted the two of them.

"Back off, lady. I saw him first."

#MIB#

"You sure this is the place?" The taxi driver turned around to the young woman in the back. "It's an abandoned airport, you know."  
"I'm sure." The woman answered as she paid the taxi driver. Then, she held up a strange device that looked like a pen. "That's exactly what this place is; an abandoned airport." The device flashed. "And keep the change." She added as she left the car.

The doorman of MiB didn't look up from his Sudoku puzzle as Jay entered. "You know that you came through here forty minutes ago, right?"  
"That's the problem I'm trying to solve." Jay continued limping on her way.

Right now, Zeeltor was the obvious first stop. If she ran into the Clone again, she would be in no shape to fight her. Also, Zeeltor might have a spare communicator around – Jay had found hers crushed and grinded into a powder, no doubt the work of her evil twin.

The second stop?  
Find the Clone and kick her ass.

Unfortunately for Jay, Murphy's Law was very persistent in ruining her day. For as soon as she rounded the corner, she caught sight of the Clone kissing Kay. And Jay felt her blood boil. This was _worse_ than Aileen making goo-goo eyes at Kay.

_You idiot!_ She scolded herself. _Now's really not the time for this._  
"Back off, lady." Jay pulled out the Noisy Cricket. "I saw him first."

The Clone took a step away from Kay with a melodramatic sigh. "You again. I really should have finished you off while I had the chance."  
Jay forced herself to shrug her shoulders nonchalantly, although her back screamed at the movement. "What can I say? I'm hard to kill."  
The Clone's uncaring attitude suddenly turned to a murderous one, and she closed the distance between the real Jay and herself. She ducked under Jay's gun arm, and jerked it viciously behind her back.

"Jay!" Kay's eyes widened in helpless horror when he heard Jay's scream of pain.

For probably the fiftieth time that day, Jay found herself slammed against a wall. Jay's right arm was absolutely useless to her at this point, and the Clone had a firm grip around her left wrist.

"Like I said," the Clone reverted back to the uncaring attitude, "I should have finished you off. But now's not such a bad time either."

The Clone let go of Jay's wrist for a moment, pulled out a large pocket knife, and drove the blade into Jay's gut.

"Arrgh!" Jay dropped to the floor, curling around her wound instinctively.

The Clone dusted off her hands, twirled the knife expertly in her hands before folding it away and tucking it back into her jacket pocket. She stepped over Jay's prone form, and smiled at the stricken look on Kay's face. "See?" The Clone blew a kiss at him. "You do care, after all. Well, catch you later, hot stuff. Got to do my errands for Alphie."

As soon as the Clone was out of sight, Kay twisted his torso. Cracks appeared in the ice. Kay twisted again, and the ice broke. He pulled out his communicator as he rushed to Jay's side. "Elle? I need you down here now. We're in the corridor from the kitchen to the laboratory."  
"On my way." Elle answered.

Kay gently rolled Jay onto her back, and lifted her jacket away from the knife wound. Red was blossoming on the shirt underneath.  
Jay blinked owlishly up at him. "Why'd you call for Elle? Shouldn't it have been Zeeltor?"  
"You weren't listening this morning," Kay questioned as he studied the wound, and the amount of blood flowing out from it, "were you?"  
Jay tried to sit up. "Are you talking about the briefing Zed gave Elle this morning?"  
"Stay down." Kay gently pushed Jay back down. "Yes, that one."  
"Well, it was for Elle, and not me."  
"If you had been listening," Kay continued patiently as he moved a hand behind Jay's dislocated shoulder, "you would have heard that Zeeltor, Troy and X are off planet. They're meeting with the Hoontaks."  
"Why Zeeltor? And Troy?" Jay asked, and realised what Kay intended to do to her shoulder. She nodded at Kay. "Do it. I'm ready."

Kay popped the shoulder back into place with practiced ease, and Jay stifled a scream behind her hand.

"Zeeltor's off planet because he is giving the Hoontaks their shots." Kay answered. "Too many diseases on earth. Troy's there just in case."  
"I guess the diseases are deadly only to Hoontaks?" Jay asked through watering eyes.

Kay didn't get a chance to answer, as Elle finally arrived.

"I don't usually make house calls, but for you two, things will never be the norm, eh?" Elle noted wryly as she came into the corridor, taking in the sight of the destruction and the blood in the hallway. Then her gaze landed on the two agents down the end of the hallway. "What happened to you?"  
"I'll explain later." Both Kay and Jay spoke at the same time. They shared a glance, before, Kay spoke again to Elle. "We have a knife wound here."

Elle kneeled down by Jay, and studied the knife wound. "Well… it's not a deep wound and it missed all your vital organs and arteries. But it hasn't stopped bleeding." Elle pulled out something that resembled a hypodermic syringe with a scanner attached.

Jay let out a small squeak of surprise when Elle pushed the needle under Jay's skin, and withdrew a vial of blood.

The scanner beeped. "Oh." Elle muttered, reading the diagnosis on the screen.  
"Toxin?" Kay asked.  
"Unfortunately, yes." Elle answered, ignoring the wide-eyed look Jay gave her. "My guess is that the toxin entered your bloodstream the same time the wound was made. It's suppressing the function of your blood platelets."  
"So, you're saying Jay's blood won't clot?" Kay frowned in concern. "How long will a de-tox take?"  
"Too long." Elle answered grimly. "She'll bleed out before it can work its way out of her system."  
"Anything we can do?" Kay asked Elle.  
"It'll have to be the old fashioned way," Elle looked at Jay, "cauterising."  
"Oh, no." Finally, Jay spoke. "This is going to hurt, isn't it?"  
"As Zeeltor puts it," Elle reached into her bag and pulled out a medical laser, "this will sting. A lot."

The smell of seared flesh filled the air a second after Jay's scream did.

Shakily, Jay tried to get back on her feet.

"Jay," Elle eyed her friend nervously, "you might want to take it slowly."  
"I'm fine." Jay pulled herself up, using the wall. "I've been beaten up and stabbed, not disabled."

Despite her words, Jay found that her legs weren't able to support her weight, and would have crashed back onto the floor, if it were not for Kay's paranoia.

Jay, instead of meeting the floor in a speedy manner, found herself in Kay's arms. "Listen to the doctor, Slick. You're in no shape to walk." Then, ignoring Jay's protests, swept her off her feet, and carried her down the hallway, to the laboratory.

"She can rest in the lab," Elle followed Kay, "and Zeeltor can take another look at her when he gets back on planet."  
But when they arrived back in the lab, they were in for another surprise.  
Zed had lost his mind. Or rather, his brain.

#MIB#

Alpha watched patiently as another coil of black shadowy smoke encircled the brain floating in the glass bowl. The shadow seemed to sink into the brain, and for a few minutes, the brain turned coal black, before reverting to a normal colour.

"What are you doing to me?" Zed demanded.  
Alpha aimed a memory gun at the floating organ. "Merely looking at your memories." He made a half truth.

"Well, well, well. It seems you were heartbroken when you had to put down your dog when it contracted rabies."  
"That's from 'Old Yeller', you moon cake!"

The Clone smothered a grin.

Alpha shot the Clone a glare, before trying again. A few minutes later, Alpha, the Clone and the brain were on their way to the art museum.

#MIB#

"What could he possibly want with Zed's brain?" Jay winced when Zed's body walked into the lab wall.  
"If Alpha were to access Zed's memories," Elle mused, jaw in hand, "he'd be able to see all of MIB's secrets, and destroy us bit by bit. He could be anywhere now."  
"No," Kay answered as he turned Zed's body around by the shoulders, and the body walked off, "it would only be the most recent thoughts Zed had. The shiniest nuggets would be floating at the top, in his short term memory."

"Any ideas, Jay?" Elle glanced at the woman propped up on one of the beds in the lab.  
"I got nothing." Jay admitted in defeat. "I didn't really pay attention this morning. But Kay," she addressed her partner, "weren't you with him this morning? Did he say something then?"

Kay thought back to the morning. He clicked his fingers. "I know where Alpha's headed. Time for a field trip, Elle."  
Jay started to get up.  
"Stay put, Slick. You're in no shape for any action."

"Sure I am." Jay protested.  
Kay rolled his eyes. "If that's the case, then stand up. By yourself."  
Of course, Jay failed spectacularly by nearly face-planting again.

"But if you're going up against Alpha, you're going to need more manpower!" Jay argued. "My look-alike's mean."

"We'll have Zed." Kay brushed off her concern.  
"More like his brain." Jay shot back.

Kay crossed his arms stubbornly. "Jay. Be a good girl and wait here for Zeeltor. He'll be back soon."  
Jay conceded with a sigh. "Fine."

Elle shot Jay an apologetic look as she left the lab.

"Elle, wait!" Jay called after her.  
Elle paused. "Yes, Jay?"  
"I know Kay will brief you later, but take this from me – when you see my evil twin, don't let her get close to you, just shoot her on sight, okay?"  
"Will do, Jay."

**_Up next: Featuring Zeeltor and a truck load of Jay Quick Clones._**


End file.
